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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 14 |
I will be confronting my W with her affair this weekend. I have planned all week for this weekend. I am going to control my angry emotions, although I probably will be crying because I don’t think I will be able to control that. Thanks to all who have been giving me advice on taking care of my situation. I have never been this scared before. I know it will be worse when I confront her. I hope that this will not take a turn for the worst. I know that the OM is still making constant casual contact but I know if this contact continues they will cheat on their families again.
Is there any last minute advice anyone would like to give at this time? Wish me luck.
Thanks again for the support.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 443 |
detach yourself from the emotions of the A. Emotional detachment helped me alot. It allowed me to look from the outside in at what ww was doing. I protected my self from the pain...somewhat...
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 339
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 339 |
Do you have your proof handy? Make sure that you have hard proof. Expect her to deny it.
Also make sure you know what your boundaries are. Your W needs to understand exactly what you need. For starters I would suggest a NC letter reviewed by you and sent to OM.
Other than that there is a whole section on EN's listed on this site. Get familiar with them.
God Bless and Take Care,
C.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 14 |
I expect her to deny the A. But how much proof do I reveal. I do not want to give up my methods just in case I may need them again. I may need some of the information just in case I need to dig again because if this continues down the wrong road I would like to get custody of my kid. Do you really think I have to show my hand?
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 30
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 30 |
Hurt3
Tough situation. My thoughts are to not reveal methods unless the results are irrefutable, sadly you might need them again. You will probably get more and better advise so stay tuned. Good luck.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479 |
i wouldn't show my hand. If you have irrefutable proof, the only one you need to prove it to is yourself...she knows the truth. Just laying out dates, times, places, with who, should be enough. You got those things, don't tell her how you got them.
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
hurt3:
I agree with the others.
Is there a way you could confront her without revealing the na2re of your evidence? Like, be a little vague and see how she reacts? She'll probably deny it at first, but she might feel "caught" and give in before you've revealed your source.
Keep in mind, though, that you probably won't want 2 or need 2 snoop indefinitely. You will come 2 a point where you can "tell" when she's being insincere and that ability will more than offset the hurt you'll continue 2 feel by snooping, once you're on the road 2 personal recovery, at least.
take care,
-ol' 2long
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 30
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Member
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 30 |
I agree with 2long saying to be "vague" and if she opens up expect half truths and for her to minimize. Be well prepared for this life changing meeting. Hope all goes well.
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