I was wondering... When my WH told me he was having an affair, he said that I have a free pass to have one of my own. I remember being in shock, even though he betrayed me, I would never cheat on him.

I was wondering if its his way of reliefing his guilt or it would something he could use against me later on in the DV if I actually went out and use my "Free Pass"

Just curious if anyone else's WS offered them a "Free Pass" to have an affair?

Yep, me too. The WS in my case even offered to hook me up with a family friend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Typical WS crazy antics. Part of what the WS does to try to manipulate the BS and family into enabling the A. Not an original.

Tell the WS that line is overused. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

L.

Wow, it must really be a WS thing...

And it makes me wonder if I was blind from the beginning of my R with my WW...

in the beginning(months before M):

WW(then just a W):"I love you, but if you feel the need to have sex with other people, I understand. It would hurt, but I wouldn't leave you, because I love you..."

Me:" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Uh...I wouldn't do that to you, please don't say something like that..."(W had a R before me with a dirtbag who slept around on her, and she was surprised that she was the second person I slept with-I just didn't and still don't see the need to "rack up" partners)

years later, a couple of months before I start getting suspicious, W isn't very sexual with me:

WW:"I really need to find you a girlfriend to sleep with!"

Me:" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Why?"

WW:"Because I don't like sex, and you need to have SF you know..."(WW was IC, claiming it was for lack of sexual desire, I think counselor was telling her its okay to have A if it makes her happy, she is still IC w/this person)

Me:"What, like you wouldn't mind if I was having SF with someone else?!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> "

WW:"Yeah, as long as I didn't see it, and you didn't do it in our bed."

Me:(thinking)WTF???


few weeks before she breaks the news that she is basically planning an A:

bystander:"Holy sh1t man! You've only been with 2 women (sexually)!?!?!?"

Me:"Yeah, so what? I'm not in a contest to have sex with a bunch of women like FRIEND who has been with 40+ women, thats disgusting."

WW:"I wish he would go out and sleep with other women!!!"(this was said while OM was staying in her brother's room because he was a coworker who "didn't have a place to go". Also, we were having a lot more SF than what had been usual at this time...WTF???)

I think that WS's try this because:

A)they feel guilty

B)misery loves company

C)hopes BS will find SF better with someone else and will leave WS before discovery of A, thus sparing pain of BS upon discovery of A

D)makes them fell not guilty, because BS is having an A, even though permission was granted

E)maybe I'm just over analysing things too much, because I just realized that I do a lot of these A-Z lists of opinions in my posts.

Yep, WS here, I offered the same thing during my A (before discovery) out of guilt I guess. Stupidy...........

HD2, I have continually been encouraged to "expand my horizons". In fact WW went so far as to say that I'm probably too afraid that I won't perform well as to why I don't try something new. In fact she continues to predict exactly who it is that I should be with. But it is simply guilt. Consider, whenever I show any interest in the person she suggests I should be with it hurts her very, very much. So she's happy to jokingly suggest it to lighten her load, but the possibility that it could really happen hurts her. Wouldn't suggest you play with fire but I think if someone gave you a second look you would see the hurt in H's eyes.

It amazes me how similiar WS can be. Especially the lines they use on us BS.

The idea of him giving me a "Free Pass" (his words) to have an affair, was totally ridiculous. I still believe even if you are a WS you don't want your spouse cheating on you even if you are the cheater, unless you are totally blind of the pain you have just cause to your BS.

Even now when my marriage is almost over, I still can't think of myself with another man expect my spouse. He is the only one I have ever slept with, I can't say the same thing for him.

Count me in...

I told WH I was entitled to Revenge Sex - he totally agreed..How crazy is that..

Funny, when I do go out to dinner w/friends - come home late - he's upset - where was I????

I've had a couple of offers since I have finally been venturing out - I can't do it..

During a heated argument - WH asked when I was going to leave him?? When I found someone else?? I said, yeah that sounds about right - you "left me"..emotionally, sexually..when you found someone else to fill those needs and didn't care about "us". Why should I move out-file for D when I haven't a back-up plan????

If only they could hear themselves...they would be stunned..There are days that I just laugh about "our" situation..days I cry..days I don't care..

So you are having SF w/many OW - it's OK in your mind since you were unhappy w/our M??? You justify your A's - sorry - no matter how unhappy you say you were - it doesn't give you the right to SF w/someone else's wife....there's no excuse in the world for that one...

I'm getting to the point where these cheaters are just plain old losers...plain and simple...