OK guys....WH has been pushing me to get a roomate quickly or move out of our apartment....well I haven't had too much luck but I have had a person who's contacted me....problem is it's a guy...the ad said female preferred....but this guy is in the same situation as me...his wife cleaned out his bank account and apartment and took there 7 month old child and moved out of state without telling him...well i met him today he seems like a nice guy....my co-workers liked him....he's got a good job and can pay 3-4 months rent upfront...he has no problem with the dog who he also met....now here is my problem I don't want to make a rash desicion about letting a guy move in.....but it's the only offer i've had...and i'm getting desperate....what are the pro's and cons...this is really stressing me out....

<small>[ October 29, 2004, 08:48 PM: Message edited by: missinghimterribly ]</small>

Hey girl!
I would seriously think about letting a guy move in. If you are still hoping to save your M then I would hold out until you could find a female. Having a guy move in could ruin your chances at saving your M.

I know how you feel about being desperate but just give it some serious thought before you jump right into something that could cause more problems.
{{{{{{{{{{Missinghimterribly}}}}}}}}}}

I vote no on letting a guy move in with you. Keep waiting for a woman to answer your ad, and then do a complete check on her. Ask for references, and check them out. Run a TRW on her to make sure no bad credit or check kiting incidents. No matter who you interview, be really really careful. Some of the most charming people can be the worst roommates.

Oh, your husband is in a hurry? That's his problem; not yours.

I have two male roommates and I love them both. I was desperate because I couldn't pay the rent. First I got one, then the other a month later. They have worked out just fine, and are lots of fun. They even help with cooking!

believer do you have children? my main fear is WH will think something is going on and use it as a scapegoat for his A....I don't want nor am I interested in anyone else....I am just worried as WH pays the rent he will stop paying and DS and I will have no where to go....

I agree with the other posters that it would be best if you had a female roommate instead, but the clock is ticking and there may not be enough time left for you to wait for one. If you do decide to let this man become your roommate, you MUST convey to him that you are trying to save and rebuild your marriage and that any interaction between the two of you will have to be ALL BUSINESS with no talking about each others personal lives. Furthermore, let him know that if your WH chose to come back to live with you, that he [roommate] would have to move. It can work IF you are vigilant in not crossing any marital boundaries [spend time alone and together with this man and talk about your personal lives].

As far as what your WH might think if you let this man become your roommate, let him know that this roomamte would be gone IF he, your WH, chose to come back to live with you. But even if he doesn't beleive you, who cares? As long as you and God know that you are honoring your marital vows, it doesn't matter if he thinks you are cheating on him. Who knows, maybe this could turn out to be a blessing in disguise in that the seed of doubt might get planted in your WH's mind on what your male roommate and you are doing when he is with the OW. I would suggest that you may want to read Dr Robert Huizenga's 7 Powerful Tactics to Break Free From The Affair and Stop it NOW! and 12 Unattractive, Ugly, Typical Tact...he Affair and Guarantee Their Own Misery.

My children are grown. My WH had a FIT when I moved my roommate in. I told WH since he was not giving me any money I had no choice. He got over being angry.

Also I made it clear to my dear roommate that I wanted to save my marriage, there would be no relationship, except as friends. He has turned out to be a great friend. Last week my car broke down, and he fixed it.

He has a girlfriend now, and she and I are very close.

This is 2004. There are lots of people living with the opposite sex, and doing just fine.

well we don't need to worry...the guy never showed up....*crosses that on off the lsit*

Hey, have you looked at roommates.com? That's where I found my roommate and I also had to find a roommate quickly.

i think i am actually on there....but they make it hard to contact people