</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 2scared:
<strong> Mel and Lemonman...and others-

First, my identity and life is not defined by the mistake I made. Whether I am tagged with the title of FWH, it is just one of the many titles that define who I am. I am also a loving, dedicated, compassionate and pretty dang cool father. Again...a descriptive title but not the sum of who I am. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">2scared, I would also add very brave and courageous man who had the courage to face his problems like a man. You are right, you are not defined by your mistakes, but in how you HANDLED them. And you handled your mistake like a hero, IMO, 2scared.

I am sorry if my comments were demeaning to you, that was never my intention. Please know that I do not look down on you. I look UP TO YOU because of courageous and honorable way you handled all this.

2scared...dang, I hated to read this. Your wife doesn't know what she is giving up.

I still haven't given up all hope, however...I'm hoping she comes to her senses- whether it is now- or even after the D.

I will say this, however....YES- you made a mistake- but IMO you have done what you could to rectify matters- and I think have grown a lot in the process. My thoughts and prayers are with you 2scared- and those thoughts and prayers are hopeful that you find healing and peace....

Mel-

Thanks, that means a lot. No offense taken. I just "feel" like the layer right below the pile of dog poop.

I know I am going to have to define some boundries but I don't have the heart to do it yet.

2scared

Hang in there. I know this is a long and painful road. I have watched many go down it. Hold your head high, yes you messed up by having the A, but then you put your all into making that right. That had to have been very hard and humbling. I think your W is making a mistake by walking away from you, a man willing to go the extra mile. Maybe she will wake up soon.

BTW I am not repeat NOT advocateing dating, I was just saying that when something is definately over there is nothing wrong with going out and having a good time. I was not meaning to imply that you should go out in search of the next mr./mrs. right. OR have meaningless SF, I am just saying LIVE YOUR LIFE. you can not put your life on hold forever. Just think about it.

Just a thought...have you suggested she come here and read? In the company of many betrayed women, she might find a way to re-think her anger. She might recognize that many betraying husband's do NOT come forth and work HARD at trying to make up for their errors.

I don't know your story at all, so maybe you've already done this.

Janet-

I have suggested many times that she come here and post. I don't know if she ever has...if so, she has never let me know. Interestinly, while I have been reading every book I could find on restoration and Affairs she has been reading on Divorce. I'm beginning to think she wanted out and I just gave her the valid excuse to proceed and feel justifyed.

Time will tell....

Gosh, each day is sure interesting.....

2scared

k-

I do have to get out of the apartment. The walls are closing in on me.

2scared