Yesterday, it went through my mind that maybe we can work this out. He had told me to come to our room and sleep there again. Said he wanted to see MC.

Last night he came home, had dinner and then parked himself in front of the TV. He ignored me.
(the usual)

Before I went up stairs I asked him if he had a chance to add his boundaries to the list or at least think about it....

He told me to "Quit your damn whinning!"

So I went out and looked in the back of his truck. Empty 12 pack, cooler full of ice and empty's.
I went to bed. My room.

This morn he acted as if everything is peachy. I finally said that I thought he was rather rude to me last night.

His response, "You were trying to start something, I'm not going to let you trip my triggers, You were trying to get me in a big uproar, and I'm not gonna fall for it. Give me the MC's number, I'm gonna tell them what the truth really is about you"
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Beer talking again.

I give up.

Danneill

<small>[ October 30, 2004, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: Danneill ]</small>

An empty 12 pack? It sounds like your husband is an alcoholic and nothing can be done with your M until that is addressed. I would suggest going to a support group for families dealing with an alcoholic, I think it's called Alon.

There is no point dealing with your M until the under lying problem of his alcoholism is addressed. Have you talked to his and/or your family about his drinking?

Yes Kloe
My H is an alcoholic. And yes I have talked with his family, they know...His sister and his father are also alcoholics. They are all in denial. Told me last night he only had 2 beers. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I was just complaining in writing again. I know what I have to do and am preparing for it. Not going to be easy though. He is a mean drunk and it's going to be really ugly when I move..Which hopefully will be next weekend.

Thanks for your reply. It's always nice to know when someone out there reads your post. I am often saddened by reading about everyone's problems and not being able to help them. I wish I had more knowledge to share or that I could erase their pain for them.

I have been posting here for 1 1/2 years now. I would add my threads below but can't seem to figure out how to do it??

Can anyone tell me how to add my thread to my signature?
Danneill

I would like to know how to do that as well!!

Where are you planning on moving too?

Danneill, I am really sorry to read about your situation, but Kloe is right. All the M counseling in the world will be of no avail to a practicing alcoholic; he is simply not available or able to work on your marriage because he is not sane. He does not have the ability to love or feel empathy and only values you as far as you benefit him.

You may already be doing this, but I would suggest going to Alanon. They can help you survive this.

I would like to know how to do that as well!!

Where are you planning on moving too?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Where are you planning on moving too?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Unforunately, not far, right next door. I have a rental home here that will be empty this week. I have numerous livestock and other animals here that I am responsible for. I can't leave them. He will not care for them.

I have been searching for an Alanon meeting in my area for 2 weeks to no avail. I have read everything on their website and been a member on the Alanon yahoo list. So I am still learning. I gets lots of support here also.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> he is not sane. He does not have the ability to love or feel empathy and only values you as far as you benefit him.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh MelodyLane you are so right! But according to him I am the lunatic! Yes I benefit him. That is what he will miss. I truely do not believe he loves me. I am his maid and his bookkeeper and sometimes his romp in the sack.

When I was snooping I heard him say such aweful things about me. And today while I was discussing with my youngest DD the moving plans she told me that her dad tells her boyfriend horrible things about me. Just disrespects me terribly.

And he expects me to still be there, wash his clothes, clean this big house, be there to his beckon call, and do the books for the businesses.

They ICMC is for me. Even if he goes (which I bet he won't find time) he'll run me thru the mud. And when I leave him he's going to run my family thru the mud along with me. Especially my oldest DD whom he blames for 90% of our problems.

He is a very unfair man.
Danneill

where are you from. I will help you look.

Have you tried your local womens shelter or church? Most churches have a meeting like that.

Just a thought

DAnneill, look in the phone book. See if there is an Alanon listing. If there isn't, call the AA hotline and ask them for a meeting list of Alanon. Also ask them to have someone on call from Alanon call you so you can go to a meeting with them.

Thank you KMEJ

Southwest corner of MI.

I did find a phone number for a hotline, but I ca't catch anymore there.

I did call a girlfiend that goes to AA every week so she is going to find out for me also. Said she knows her AA friends would know.

Our local paper always listed the meetings for years until I started looking for them. Maybe the Sunday paper will have them listed. I'll have that in the morn.

I used to see the meetings listed in our very small town where everyone knows he and I. Before, I would not have dreamed of attending where I would be recognized for fear of H, but now I don't care. I hope they still have them here. I'm going to be first one in the door.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Maybe I can get his mother to go with me.

Thanks Melodylane I did find a number. I was afraid to leave a message. The one I found for AA turned out to be the health department in our county. No one til Monday there.

Will try the next county over tomarrow.

I used to see the meetings listed in our very small town where everyone knows he and I. Before, I would not have dreamed of attending where I would be recognized for fear of H, but now I don't care. I hope they still have them here. I'm going to be first one in the door.

Right on!!!

Like I told you before you have guts and you have brains...a fellow sister!!!

Walk tall and walk strong!