I am having a difficult time lately I will give a short recap of my story, On 8-2-04 I found out my fiance was having an affair with a women he worked with on and off for about 10 months, we have been together over 5 years so I want to try to make things work, since d day he has been the man I met years ago, comes home always, even calls to talk on his way home from work, never wants to ge antwhere without me, is attending counseling weekly with me, Is working very hard to get a transfer to a different work location. I know that there has been no communication between him and ow by phone as I have but a trace on the phone and I do not think that there has been any at work since they work in seperate units I also think that he does not have any interst as he has filed a ppo and we have had to call the cops for harrassment on her.but I always wonder and if my phone does not ring by 10:10 I feel my gut drop. I am having a problem letting go and maybe it is because it is to soon, I am questioning everything and it seems to get worse as the holidays approach, I am not sure I want to be here anymore and I do not know what to do I mean I love this man with all my heart but I cannot understand that if he truly loved me how could he of let this happen to us. I am planning a wedding for next October and I know I still want to marry him but then the other part is worried I am just setting myself up for more heartache. I do believe he learned his lesson annd I now how bad he feels, but what to do next?? Should I maybe seek anti depressents I have not yet and some days the thoughts of them I just cannot get out of my head, others I do not even think about it??

Have you read Dr. Harley's Surviving an Affair? Buy it if you have not. As well, read His Needs Her Needs. You can buy both of them on this website. You sound like you have decided you want to make things work does he want it as much as you?

I would suggest that you tell him if he intends on getting M to you he will have to go to one of Dr. Harley's siminars before your wedding comes. Tell him you can have nothing less than an Affair Proof Marriage and if he is not on board then your moving on. You don't want to be dealing with this when you have 3 Children, 2 car payments and a mortgage!

Set him straight your holding all the chips. If you were M I would probably give different advice. However, IMO you have every chance to move on now because your not. If you are like most people on this board you also believe M is suppost to be for life. Don't do it with anyone that you think might not feel the same.

C.