Dream Catcher,

I just read through your thread. I don't have much time, but I wanted to encourage you to continue to post here.

I have created this new thread and ask everyone to consider, before they write, the position that Dreamcatcher is in right now and write accordingly. Let's all have some sensitivity to each other's frame of mind when we post.

I am so glad your husband returned home. That is a very favorable sign. Please post your questions. We do want to help.

~ Snow

Thanks for doing this Snow! I agree- please keep posting DC!

I probably wouldn't pass the sensitivity test, so I will pass. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

dreamcatcher, I am a bs. I mostly lurk now, haven't posted in awhile. My fwh and I are in recovery and doing well. D-day was almost 5 yrs ago. Please continue to post on mb. I beleive you have done the right thing, telling your husband the truth. Pay no attention to the hurtful posts. As JL said in his post, your husband needs some time to sort things out. His world has been blown apart. He most definitely acted out of pain and hurt when he threw the bottle, although he shouldn't have done that. I can only describe what it's like on the bs side, because I've been there. At first it's shock, disbelief,anger. I didn't feel real anger at first, but it came later, and yes, then I wanted to confront ow, especially because she was a former friend. It usually doesn't accomplish anything to confront them, but you feel you just have to. The bs has all these different emotions bombarding us constantly for awhile. The pain is so great on the inside, that you want to find something to take it away just for a moment, thus the alcohol, for some people. I at one point had so much anger that I didn't want to have. I lashed out at my fwh at times, calling him names, drawed my fist back to strike him, because of the terrible pain that I felt he inflicted on me. Now understand, I've never been a violent person in my life. I hated the feelings of anger and it was hard to deal with, but in time it subsided. It would have subsided quicker if my fwh would've been more understanding. I beleive that you are at the point were you are willing to be understanding to your bs. Don't take any abuse, but please understand that this is going to take alot of time and it is alot of work on both your parts. Just as JL said, it's all a mess right now. Also with time your children will heal, if you continue to work on the marriage. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to post to you and encourage you to please keep coming here for help, there are more people here that will help you than to bash you. I admire your willingness to be forthcoming and honest about healing your marriage. Also Just Learning is very good on mb,he seems to be very knowledgeable and doesn't discriminate.

bump

bump

bump for dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher, please come back, please ignore some of the others on your thread. A good portion of us support you and need you to support us.


Mel, I am shocked that you would post on this thread also!

bumping

I'm sorry, I didn't see this thread until right before I had to log off earlier...I really appreciate you all reaching out to me..here and in FL's post. I have a feeling that I'll be needing to post here whether I feel safe doing that or not, I do know that the majority of the people here do not feel the way some do ...that us WS's should suffer fates worse than death for our sins...repentent or not...I wish the posters who condemn us so could imagine that someday their child (son or daughter) becomes a WS..would they wish the same fate on them?

i happen to believe that all of us are good people, some of us (WS's) have made some very poor choices that hurt those that love us deeply...The only thing to do is try to get right with God and our spouses..

I'm just going to read here for now...get some of the books that have been recommended to me, pray a lot, and try to make this as easy on my H as possible until he decides which road he wishes to take...

Thanks again..

<small>[ November 01, 2004, 09:26 PM: Message edited by: dreamcatcher ]</small>