H and I have been doing so so great. For quite a long time too! There has been no contact for me for so long, I can't even remember the last one. My H has been wonderful and continues to go to anger management classes as we both work twards a great M. And truly it is better than it ever was!

H took my son to practice Sat. a.m. My phone was in his car. (he can look at it any time, I don't care) Well, when he came back in he was distant and I asked if something was wrong. He said he was playing with my phone and saw a couple of numbers he was concerned I hadn't been honest with him and that OM had contacted me. I explained who the calls were. And what happend is that one of my classmates is from the same area code OM was. I didn't even know this until she called me for a group meeting because she lives and goes to school here. Anyway, I thought of mentioning it to H in case he saw it and was worried, but things have been going SO well that I didn't want to rock the boat and so I didn't. He said he was sorry, and I told him he had nothing to be sorry for. That he could look at my phone any time and ask anything. O.K. we got past that... He was down for awhile, but seemed to cheer up as the day went on.

Thing is for me. This brought OM back into my mind. How is he? Is he o.k.? Freaks me, I mean I won't do anything about it, and it is not this wonderful fantasy thing, just a wonder. Please don't get me wrong, I love my H and am so happy for where we are. But, it is like this little buzzing annoying concern still there for OM.

Just needed to get that! Thanks for listening.

sohard...

You'll work through this.

You have written a perfect testemonial for No Contact!

You see, our feelings cannot always be trusted to be right.

Congrats on understanding the trigger, and what it means. Stay strong and keep your emotions in check, and you'll get further along in a successful recovery every day.

Best wishes,
SD

Sohard,

Just have to say good job....I hope my WH gets to this place someday. It is one thing to think of it...it is another thing to do something about it.... What you did is come here...a safe place to express it. I hope the triggers will become fewer and fewer and then dimmer and dimmer and then really gone altogether. It is a tough road, but you did the right thing and not act. Celebrate your success over your temptation. Good job. SS

So Hard:

I continue to struggle with triggers, too. See my post on FWs Gather Here. I guess we have to admit how much of a trauma this was for us and that this is a major wound that will not take a long time to heal.