Thought I'd get an award for killing the "Rat Meat" nickname for the OM, but no! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Seems a number of you (myself included), ac2ally like the name.

So, here it goes:

Should I continue 2 use the initials RM, knowing full well that they stand for "Rat Meat", instead of something more respectful (of both rats and OM), like "OMxW's xH"?

...like you don't have better things 2 do with your time!

...you need to ask ?... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

We want RAT MEAT!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

And don't you mess with me, 2Long, I might have to open up a can of whoop [censored] as violent as I am! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Ok, I have to be the soresport here and vote to do away with "ratmeat", and I'll tell ya why -

It is for you 2long, you do know that any negative energy you send out into the universe especially directed at a fellow inhabitant will come right back at ya, only 10 fold.

So in hurting him via negative universal energy, you are also hurting yourself, only worse.

I suggest you bless him instead, and if done in a pure, sincere spirit you will be blessed 10 fold <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Now ducking that can of whip [censored] Mel is pointing at me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I have yet to hear anything that warrants your wife's XOM deserving respect.

I totally understand letting him go in your heart...for you...but let him keep the RM title.

You probably don't need to use the RM term with your wife as that may bring about a defense of him, if only in her heart and mind and to preserve her memory as well as to aleviate any guilt which she doesn't really seem to have anyway.

Bump, because this is MORE IMPORTANT than the "bait and switch" thread! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

-ol' 2long

Rat meat! - Poor Willard LOL!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

2Long,

I think you should be more respectful.

Call him "Dr. Rat Meat". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-AD

<small>[ November 01, 2004, 02:54 PM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AD:
<strong> 2Long,

I think you should be more respectful.

Call him "Dr. Rat Meat". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-AD </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">bwhahahaaaaaa!

2Long, please don't sacrifice your humor on the alter of political correctness! There aren't many of us left out here, honey! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

All humour aside, it's not about respecting FOM it is about 2long respecting 2long, and taking back his power.

When 2long keeps the pain fresh in his own mind, when he doesn't let it go and forgive, he gives his power away...his power to heal and his power to govern his own life.

When he continues to call OM's EX-wifes FWH, or whatever Ratmeat, than FOM retains the power to hurt 2long.


And now I have to get on the treadmill as it has been very stressful in MB land today.

I don't care what you call him.

If I thought calling him RM would benifit your marriage or your personal well being, I would vote you continue the nic-name.

If I thought calling him RM would damage your marriage or your well being, I would vote you drop the nic-name.

I honestly don't think this is a very important issue... but something you now do for fun, no longer out of hurt or malace.

Does it work for you?

Pep

I changed the name I called the OW in my life, because calling her HomeWrecker (while VERY informative to everyone involved) was hurting MY PERSONAL recovery.

I agree with Weaver for that reason, because it is my reason as well.

However, I also agree with Pep, that only you know if it is harming you or your M or your personal Recovery.

AND, this IS more important than the "Bait and Switch" thread!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Spide

There is nothing wrong with ratmeat. When I think of the OW's real name my toe's curl and I get angry instantly, however when I call her hosach (ho-sach) I do not get so upset, I do not know where the name came from, it just did.

Keep your head up!!!

I say keep the name!

Personally, I think of OW as 'it' and WH as 'dork!'.

Putting the word woman or husband in a title for either of them is mean, degrading and down right insulting to women and husbands in general.

Ho-bag, in-heat-she-cat (IHSC, for short), b@stard and moral reprobate all have nice rings, but the kids could over hear. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Rat Meat is perfect.

Hi AD!!

Well, one of the "outcomes" of having had an A with my W is that RM did NOT finish his PhD!

So, Mr RM if anything.

Weaver. I tend 2 agree with you, though since I needed 2 vote so that I could view the results, I voted for RM.

And, Pep, you're absolutely correct. I don't THINK calling him that HERE (which is the only place I do that) harms my M, but it doesn't help it either (and most significantly, my W is unaware of it as yet).

On the other hand, Trix is right and RM has done NOTHING 2 "earn" my respect of him. A fact I've pointed out 2 my W, when she tried 2 get me 2 believe, at various times, that he's told her he doesn't think they can be friends, he's always followed that with "[2long's] email gave me hope" and "my new GF is 'okay' with us being 'friends'". I'll respect positive action from RM. They ain't been none, 'zall!!

Remember Sarie? One of the last dialogs I had with her on here was about my use of the nickname. She thought I should stop it, and that I should tell my W about it. How 'bout it, Sarie? If you're lurking on here, ol' 2long's prepared 2 strike a deal with you: I'll stop calling RM RM, if you end your A and tell your H.

Deal?

-ol' 2long

I think I'm with SS for the most part.

I refer to my XW's husband as Pond Scum, human waste, homewrecker and - get this - her useful idiot. "How much alimony are you paying your XW, you dolt? Is it worth it, hmmmmm?"

BUT - my personal recovery is going well. Very well. This doesn't mean my surviving son's life is the best it can be. As long as he spends much of his time with these idiots, he is missing normalcy. Who can do this to a boy who lost his brother, and then his family? Human waste.

Sniff, sniff. What's that SMELL?

Anyway, this may all be about semantics. No matter what we call the (unreformed) infidels, our thoughts of them may not be different. I always thought RM raised this organism to mamilian status. Not warranted.

WAT

<small>[ November 01, 2004, 04:28 PM: Message edited by: worthatry ]</small>

Dear 2long.
I do still lurk here at MB and spend about an hour reading each day!

I cannot post often here at MB because I am one of the wives that never told her husband of a 10 year long affair.

Everyone was 'on me' to confess (justifyably on me) and yes, I have been reading Dreamcatcher's thread and believe me, I understand the 'whipping' she is getting.....

My PA with the OM has been over since August of last year....but the EA part of it continues...It probably will for a long long time; perhaps the love and caring we have for one another will continue in our hearts for a lifetime! I don't have that answer.

So, 2long, I was admiring your decision not to call the OM, RATMEAT, anymore...heehee...I am glad you never used it with your wife when referring to him.

Us WW tend to see the OM differently than our BH sees him.

Love ya
Sarah

Delete

<small>[ November 01, 2004, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: Spider Slayer ]</small>

2Long,

Joking aside, in discussions with my W, I refer to my W's OM as "Mr. <first-letter-of-his-last name>".

I find that this approach avoids a certain dynamic...

If, for example, I was to refer to him instead with some derogatory name, she would probably defend him and would feel some revulsion at me for being so crude as to call him whatever-I-would-call-him, which would be counter-productive for me. I do not use his first name, and strangely enough, although W will refer to him by first name in discussions with me, she does not refer to a child we know who has the same first name - but only says "B's son" so as to avoid that name. She refers to all other children by their names, so I understand that she does this to avoid offending me or avoid having me associate any negative feelings with that child who just has the ill-fortune to share a first name with the OM.

-AD

<small>[ November 01, 2004, 04:54 PM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sarie:
Us WW tend to see the OM differently than our BH sees him.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

We Faithful Wives tend to see our own husbands differently than you see your husband Sarie.


Pep