My WW and I cannot have a decent conversation without it ending up in her verbally abusing me. I know it is mostly driven from fear and emotion, but it still drives me farther away. My question is what is recommended for the BS? We are only a week since D-Day and I am still in shock. I try to talk to her about "R" but it always leads to a fight. She is pregnant with OM's baby and we are at odds. Should I seek IC right away, or try to get her to go into MC with me.

shell-of-a-man,

Here is an article by Dr Willard Harley Jr titled What To Do When You (Or Your Spouse) Becomes Pregnant With A Lover's Child . Consider the following excerpt:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"There are many important issues to consider in deciding your future together. If your daughter were your only child, and if your wife were still in love with her ex-lover, who happened to be single and wanted to marry her, I would lean toward encouraging you to divorce."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you beleive that you cannot love the child your W is carrying then please consider divorcing her. She has stated her steadfastness in not wanting to give up her child for adoption and you your steadfastness not to raise a child from a different racial background. This is a situation where there doesn't seem to be a mutually satisfactory agreement that would satisfy the two of you. In a situation where there were a few years before the infidelity occured I would not say the following but the simple fact that she was unfaithful to you just a short time after she got married to you may be very ominous sign of what is yet to come if you decide to remain married to her. You've got a lot of soul searching to do before you can make a wise decision.

Good luck.

Shell,
How are you?

Ususally its the BS who goes ballistic with the verbal abuse. Try not to go there.

What specifically is she saying?

Also you didn't answer my questions on your Just Found Out thread. I had asked if your wife was answering your questions. My guess is no but that's just speculation.

Who was OM?
What were the circumstances of the ONS?
Will OM be involved in the child's life?
Is your wife remorseful?
Is she making threats?

One thing that helped me cope in the few weeks after DDay was going to counseling as well as getting on anti-depressants. I recommmend counseling as an absolute must.

It's expensive but it'll keep you in one piece.

My thoughts are with you.

Mac