I am new to post here at MB, but I have spent the last 1 1/2 years becoming familiar with the site and the members who post here.
My condenced story is this...my H had an A with one of his employees (I also am one of his employees), I know this woman but we worked on different floors. The A started in Dec.02 I discovered the A in Feb 03. The A continued through Sep 03 (unbeknownest to me). I never would have guessed that the very loving man I was living with was continueing his A.
My H professed over and over that it was just an EA, which I had a very hard time believing and made many attempts to gain openness and honesty from him. Finally in Dec. 03 he admitted that yes there was a PA as well. He admitted to 2 sexual encounters. Still many things just did not add up so to speak. In Jun 04 my husband wrote a letter to me detailing the true extent of the A, which was horrific. He didn't couldn't bring himself to verbalize the events which is why he chose the letter. Before the letter I had decided that the marriage was over because I knew he was still spinning a web of lies...thus his full disclosure.
The OW left our facility in Feb 04, but still continues to send text pages to my H cell phone. These text messages our just a bunch of bizaare numbers and letters. She text pages his pager with their secret codes that they were using during the A. She recently sent him an e-card for his birthday the other day. On several occasions I have sent her nasty e-mails telling her to leave my H alone, to respect our M and our decision to make it work, to offer me some respect for the unbearable pain I have been through. My H feels that these attempts at contact should just me ignored and she will eventually just give up. It has been going on for so long and with every attempt at contact (thankfully my H informs me of every one), it just prolongs the pain and makes recovery near impossible for me.
My H sent a NC letter to her in Dec 03. He has always been kind to her to protect her feelings. I don't believe he is doing enough to protect my feelings and my well being. I feel as if I am circling the drain emotionally. He appears to be very angry with her every time she attempts contact, but that anger is never relayed to her. He feels NC means NC and doesn't want to make yet another attempt to request she honor that. I think if he strongly spoke on my behalf that I don't deserve to have this constant reminder of her, how he feels repulsed by her(which he tells me he is), that he loves me and can't imagine one day of his life without me in it.
Because he has never relayed to her how profoundly he loves, I believe she thinks that he is still in a bad marriage. I think she believes there is a special bond between them. What is also very difficult for me is will my H be able to resist the temptation of her. Knowing that all he has to do is call her and sex is available. Sadly, my H has a sex addiction, and she fullfilled that need for him whenever he wanted it fullfilled. All he had to do was call her. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
