I have recently been speaking to WH due to FIl illness and have decided due to the nature of the time that we would be together for the holidays.

OW left my WH to go back to her BS, and now I think my WH is deeply hurting. He wouldn't confirm NC, but did state that they "weren't seeing each other". What ever that means.

We spent Halloween together and had a great day. Please know that we have been living separately w/50 custody for 10 mos now.

I asked where this was going as I invited him to my house for dinner and he said yes, but was upset due to knowing I had gone to see a friend. Yes, of the opposite sex, but he understands that I am not ready to change my life as I still am in love w/my WH. I know I will get some 2X4s for his one as I shouldn't even have friends of the opposite sex if I am trying to work on saving my M. I too unfortunately have needed friends to fall back on.

He says that he doesn't really care what I am doing, and could care less, not sure if this is truth or not. It seems that I have truly blown any form of recovery we were making, as he still is saying he is just not sure of what he wants. Although he has finally admitted to still having feelings for me, just not sure we can make it.

So, is this the beginning, and or a pseudo recovery until something better comes along perhaps even the OW leaving the BS again? Need some guidance.

This is very promising. He is probably in withdrawal from OW. Now is your chance to meet some of his needs. But don't get your hopes up too high. This will take some time. Try to do some fun things together.

So you think continuing to seek him out, i.e. inviting to dinner and such as family is ok to keep doing?

We have made a few phone calls back and forth re:daughter and check in to see how he is as well. Are those ok to keep up?

He is also now calling me more and checking in just to let me know where he is on the way home, as it is his week w/D. Nothing big but everytime I make sure to keep myself calm and as patient as possible. He likes when there is no "r pressure".

That's what you have to do my dear, show him the way home. He may not be interested just now, but will come around.

It does not matter why the A ended, just that it has ended. Treat him like when you were just dating.

Believer,

Thanks for your feedback, we had dinner again, and watched tv. It was nice, he did some poking fun at me, but I think it was that just in fun.

We are supposed to go to D's pt conference, so that will be good to hear how all is going there.

He let D know that I could come over for a while if I wanted to today. We shall see day by day.

Do I need to know if they are still communicating? And if they are am I supposed to back off?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by half empty:
<strong> I asked where this was going as I invited him to my house for dinner and he said yes, but was upset due to knowing I had gone to see a friend. Yes, of the opposite sex, but he understands that I am not ready to change my life as I still am in love w/my WH. I know I will get some 2X4s for his one as I shouldn't even have friends of the opposite sex if I am trying to work on saving my M. I too unfortunately have needed friends to fall back on.

He says that he doesn't really care what I am doing, and could care less, not sure if this is truth or not. It seems that I have truly blown any form of recovery we were making, as he still is saying he is just not sure of what he wants. Although he has finally admitted to still having feelings for me, just not sure we can make it. "

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">O.K., there are some biggies here. First, you having a friend of the opposite sex did upset your husband. If he didn't still care for you why would he be upset that you were spending time with another man? Secondly, if you are doing the plan A thing, of course invite husband over, to a movie, out to dinner, to a concert, whatever. Make sure you look you best, the house is clean, (I stole this from someone but forgot who . . . bake something that smells great before he comes over . . . something that will remind him of home, like cookies).

I'm a FWS and I can tell you he is surely going through withdrawl . . . he misses his OP. And withdrawl hurts. He probably doesn't know what he wants right now.

Don't believe much of what he says right now. He is a mess.