looking to chat, and you are always good for a conversation....?

Hi,

I'm new. I read your posts of 11/2. I'll talk. I'm horrible at this relationship thing but sometimes we just need someone to talk to.

Tawny

Yes, I am here. Bad night last night, had to go into the hospital at 1:30 am (even though) I was not technically on call. My pateint from the AM case I did wednesday had post op complications. Up all night (and not on call) and worked all day. I am dragging my A$$, but I am too tired to sleep. Will be on for a few minutes. What is new with the hubby?

you still around? I had to go deal with my little ones, am back now. Please still be here!!

Yeah, I a here sipping some decaf coffee and staring at 6 unread medical journals spending far too much time reading these MB's. What is up with the hubby? How are your little tornadoes? (I love that nickname for them by the way)

I wish I was drinking some decaf, however Coffee pot is still MIA

Things with Hubby are interesting, did you read my update on my other thread?

My little tornadoes (thanks by the way) are happily snug in their beds. They had a fun day of playing in leaves and messing up the house. I love them so much. My oldest has a bit of a mouth, but he is a good little man (7). Middle cute as a button, and he knows it, when he is naughty he just turns on the charm and he always gets out of trouble. He is going to be quite the womenizer I think.(4) THe youngest is a terror on wheels. He will be 2 in January but he thinks he is going on 10. Talks in full sentences and is always on a mission for trouble, and he usually finds it. He is a buttomless pit for food but sweet sweet sweet when he wants to be.

Thanks so much for asking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

How are you doing? Sorry about last night. You intreige (sorry for the spelling, tired) me. I would love to learn more about you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KMEJ:
<strong> I wish I was drinking some decaf, however Coffee pot is still MIA

Things with Hubby are interesting, did you read my update on my other thread?

My little tornadoes (thanks by the way) are happily snug in their beds. They had a fun day of playing in leaves and messing up the house. I love them so much. My oldest has a bit of a mouth, but he is a good little man (7). Middle cute as a button, and he knows it, when he is naughty he just turns on the charm and he always gets out of trouble. He is going to be quite the womenizer I think.(4) THe youngest is a terror on wheels. He will be 2 in January but he thinks he is going on 10. Talks in full sentences and is always on a mission for trouble, and he usually finds it. He is a buttomless pit for food but sweet sweet sweet when he wants to be.

Thanks so much for asking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

How are you doing? Sorry about last night. You intreige (sorry for the spelling, tired) me. I would love to learn more about you. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">LOl, well you probably know a lot about me already....more than most people I even work with. I think I am kind of addicted to these MB. I spend too much time on them.....ugggh. Probably pretty pathetic since I really don't suscribe to many of the principles. Did the 2 year old and 4 year old undestand the betrayal of your husband and what happened? What does you dad think about this. Dis he evr confrom your husbane. What did hus family think of him. What does the community think of him doing this to you (or don't they know)?

I made sure the whole world new day 1. I was mad and hurt and out for blood <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .

H's parents did not like it but refused to say anything, as it was his life and they wanted him to be happy. They actually let him bring the OP over for mothers day which was a few weeks later... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> They however supported me, talked to me when ever I needed and helped me with the kids when they could.

My parents and siblings are less then impressed with my H.

My dad however tried to be there for H on many occasions. Took him out to eat and out of town so they could talk. My dad still would, but H has decided to alienate himself (and me in the process) from my family.> Refuses to attend family events and gets upset if I go (I do go).

My mom (parents divorced, mom cheated on dad- hmmm) hates H and he hates her. They use to get along well, now in the last year I think they have managed one hi, if that.

H lost his job over this, still blames me for it though.

Oldest knows what happend figured it out on his own, has problems with his dad now. I feel for him. He is a great kid who has taken on too many responsibilities too young

Middle, no clue, was 2 at the time, and sweet and innocent and just happy with anything- great kid

youngest- was 3 months when H left, 1 when he came back, he has no clue. However at his first birthday party he had no real relationship with his dad and refused to go to him. I think that was a wake up call for H.

H was suppose to be home almost an hour ago, what is taking him so long....


Where are you from, can I ask?

I will say that I am from the east coast. I live in the keystone state.

What does your husband do now for a living. Why did he lose his job? Was their a lot of public humiliation for him? Hoe are fincnaces for you.

I feel sorry for your son in dealing with this. So sad really.

fair enough, not trying to make you uncomfortable or give up your confidentiality, just curious.

My H lost his job b/c the OP was not only our nanny but also worked for him in the resturant he ran. it is a big no- no to do that. That and I worked their too, and the higher ups liked me, and did not like what he did. They cut him a break and told him if he left her alone they wold let it blow over, gave him a week off paid to situate everything. He spent the whole week non-stop with her, end of story.

He is now manageing a different resturant, and I now work at a different one, besides my school job. Finances are ok, could not make it with out him though. We would be doing much better however H is addicted to e-bay and loves to gamble. He does not gamble much but when he does it is a no holds bar kind of thing. HE has never left us hurtin finacially. Knows when he has to stop.

H just called, he is grocery shopping with his friend, they are leaving to go hunting tomorrow. I work tomorrow night and Saturday and Sunday, so my kids are going to their Nanna's on Saturday morning, and I get a free night, Have not had that in so long do not know what to do. Rather excited and guilty at the same time (Baby has never spent a night at my moms b4)

I feel for DMJ too. He has really been carrying a load. Crys easy, and gets mad quick.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KMEJ:
<strong> fair enough, not trying to make you uncomfortable or give up your confidentiality, just curious.

My H lost his job b/c the OP was not only our nanny but also worked for him in the resturant he ran. it is a big no- no to do that. That and I worked their too, and the higher ups liked me, and did not like what he did. They cut him a break and told him if he left her alone they wold let it blow over, gave him a week off paid to situate everything. He spent the whole week non-stop with her, end of story.

He is now manageing a different resturant, and I now work at a different one, besides my school job. Finances are ok, could not make it with out him though. We would be doing much better however H is addicted to e-bay and loves to gamble. He does not gamble much but when he does it is a no holds bar kind of thing. HE has never left us hurtin finacially. Knows when he has to stop.

H just called, he is grocery shopping with his friend, they are leaving to go hunting tomorrow. I work tomorrow night and Saturday and Sunday, so my kids are going to their Nanna's on Saturday morning, and I get a free night, Have not had that in so long do not know what to do. Rather excited and guilty at the same time (Baby has never spent a night at my moms b4)

I feel for DMJ too. He has really been carrying a load. Crys easy, and gets mad quick. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I hope you enjoy yourself. I hope you find a happy continuum with your husband. I know that my advuce to you to dump your UNFAITHFUK husabnd is not conducive to MB principles and I felt very guilty for steering you there the other day. Although I do not have ayy children< I think I consider myself an intelligent ebough guy to rener an opinion regarding the many people in this world who stay together "for the kids sake". That rational only in the end hurts the kids. They live on egg shells forever and suffer IMO so much for it. I am not telling you what to do, but I hope that you don't ever rationlaize staying in an unhealthy marriage for your kids sake. That never works <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Thanks LM~
I think you are an upstanding guy, from what I know about you. A little reserved, but you might talk more to me in time. Everyone can use a confidant. I am not sure why I am so drawn to talk to you, maybe your honesty, even though it is not the common opinion.. YOu are not afraid to stand alone, I like and respect that.

My H said he came back for the kids. I am not sure. I stuck it out as long as I did for the kids as well. I feel all kids deserve to grow up with both parents IF it is a good enviorment. I am trying to provide that for them. If it continues to not be the case then I will have to reevaluate the situation. Currently my H has an explaination for everything, and I can not in good faith walk away just yet.

However when I confronted him yesterday about talking with the OP and asking my friend for SF, I was cool and calm, and did not let him get to me, so I am thinking I am getting stronger.

I want to be strong. I want to be a good friend to all, and a good wife. Mostly I want to be a good mother.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KMEJ:
<strong> Thanks LM~

My H said he came back for the kids. I am not sure. I stuck it out as long as I did for the kids as well. I feel all kids deserve to grow up with both parents IF it is a good enviorment. I am trying to provide that for them. If it continues to not be the case then I will have to reevaluate the situation. Currently my H has an explaination for everything, and I can not in good faith walk away just yet.

. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, if that is how you feel than you have to stay untill you CAN't stay any more. On the surface staying for the kids is every parents reaction (and admittedly would be mine also), but I believe that in the end it does more damage. Kids really aren't stupid, They know deep down inside. Staying in an unhealthy marriage also helps delay the guilt to spouses for "breaking" up a family, even when it is the best thing in the long run. Once again, not a popular opinion, but hence it is from me, so would you think any diiferent.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

no I would not, as I stated on another post....

That is what I like about you!! You are always so honest.

DO you work tomorrow?

Sorry to poke my head in here....but...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Currently my H has an explaination for everything, and I can not in good faith walk away just yet.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know you know this......but the word explanation does not mean truth.

WS's are masters at explanations.......they use them to justify what they are doing....and anything goes.

Also.....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I want to be strong. I want to be a good friend to all, and a good wife. Mostly I want to be a good mother. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are a good mother....don't let anyone EVER tell you that you aren't.

As far as being a good wife.....that I have no doubt of either.....it's just that your H would like you to believe otherwise. Did I mention that I think he's a complete a$$? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Sorry.....couldn't help myself.

JMHO.....which usually doesn't account for much. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

you make me laugh, and cheer me up well.

I try hard to be a good mom, but I still have my moments... Thanks for the kind words.

Feel free to butt in anytime.

As a wife, I obviously did something wrong along the way that he felt he needed someone else. However b4 you 2x4 me. I did not make him have an A. that was not my fault, I just was not a good enough wife to see his needs were not being met, but he is soley responsible for having an A. It was his choice, he could have told me he was feeling neglected instead of seeking fullfillment else where.
Good night....
Talk with you tomorrow.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by KMEJ:
<strong> no I would not, as I stated on another post....

That is what I like about you!! You are always so honest.

DO you work tomorrow? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, Ofcourse I work tomorrow ( you mean like later today) right? I have a post op clinic at 8 am, That one is gonna be rough, Anyways, I am gonna wrap it up soon and try to read a med journal which will ofcourse put me to sleep.

I have to go soon, because yes it is now 12 here, later your time. I am happy, I only work one job tomorrow and I get the whole day with my kids, as there is no school, so both the kids and I will be home.

I have to go soon too, as H is home and wants me to help him finish packing so he can leave at 8am.

Sounds like you have a busy day ahead of you. I will be at work tomorrow night and I close so I will be there up to 2am or so, so I will not be on after 4, so I probably won't talk to you tomorrow, I mean today. Oh wait I already am!! With any luck I will be having fun on Saturday night, so maybe on Sunday, will you be on? If I have any energy by that point...

How can you handle reading those med journals,I suppose it is all part of the job, and they do pay you well.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

good night and good luck with your husband. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

talk with you Sunday??? If not another time,. Sleep well.