Life's Reflections


1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is: no pain, no pain.

3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

5. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

6. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

7. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

8. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are okay, then it must be you.

9. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

10. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

ROFL!

Some great ones there. Love the 'blood on tee shirt' one !

Hilarious! Thanks. I just shared them with a coaching list I belong to. Everyone seems to feel the need for a bit of fun today. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

C

LostHusband,

ROTFLMAO!! List looks like something comedian Steven Wright would author.

Speaking of Steven Wright a return gift from the Coaching list -

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.


What's another word for Thesaurus?

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.


Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.


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