Hey Chris?

Wondering how you are these days? Haven't seen you in a while. How are those girls doing this year? You helped me out tons over the winter and I often think about how strong you are raising those girls on your own and all. Just curious how you are?

HINY

^^bump^^

Not around too much anymore.
I read once in a while but not much posting.

How are the girls? Remember, you asked... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
I'd say it's just about as bad as it can get (but I know it could really be much worse).

My 19 year old is going out with a 25 year old (who doesn't work, lives in a small room at his aunts house and doesn't have a job).I told her I do NOT want him over at our house. Period. (Yeah, like that will happen).

I went downstairs before work last week to tell her to close the garage door at night and he's in her bed...

She quit school & quit work. "I just want to have a fun time now and not worry about stuff..." (shades of her mom coming through?)

I haven't let her have her car for a few weeks because of no work or school. She asked if she could take it and go see a friend. It was 8:30 pm. I told her to be home by 10 PM.
She didn't show up and she wasn't there in the morning. She did show up before I got home from work. The car was covered in mud, inside & out.
I asked her what happened. She woke up (yes, she was asleep at 5 PM).
Proceeds to yell at me that I know where she was...

(this is her version, I have no idea)
Told me she went to Walmart, bought some glow sticks and went to "dance in a field at night" got the car stuck in mud and ended up in a different field than she started in and she doesn't have any idea how it got there.
Slept in the car all night and in the morning got "some guy" to tow her out.

Drugs, mental problems, the devil or all three?

My youngest writes in her journal she has done meth & coke. She smokes, ditches school when "she doesn't feel like going". Threatens to run away all the time, talks back to teachers & me.
Also, a few months ago, she was molested (a 15 year old guy grabbed her butt when she was asleep on the couch at a friends). Hopefully, DA will file charges this week.

So, if you are really bored, you could say a few prayers for me... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Lordy, Lordy Chris.

You have your hands full eh? I will definately pray for you.

The older one sounds like my sister. A little rebel in the making. I think it will pass or at least I hope it will for your sake. Girls suck! My 12 year old is really getting on my last nerve these days myself. I think when one parent raises the kids it is hard also. She probably harbors a lot of anger towards her mother. Too bad she wouldn't do counseling or something. It would probably help her out tremendously. My DD just started and it has helped her a little.

I think your younger one might learn a little from the older one.

Have you ever thought of moving out to the middle of the desert with them?

I definately think their mother has a big part in this. Girls really do need a mother, even though I know you did a great job on your own. Girls are very emotional about this stuff. I have a girlfriend who lost her mother to cancer when she was 11 and she was a rebel like that. Never even cried about her mom because she held it all in. She is a sheriff now and doing great. But she finally broke down and cried with me one day about her mom not being around. Just hang in there with them the best you can. You have really done your part with the older one. I will pray for you big time though and them also.

HINY

Have you ever thought of moving out to the middle of the desert with them?
I HAVE considered moving out to the middle of the desert without them though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ November 08, 2004, 02:40 PM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>

((( Chris )))

I've got some teenage experience ... if you ever want to talk...

I think it is HARDER if the wild teen is female... Our son is now 18 ... and we're not allowing him to stay with us at Thanksgiving (we're soooo mean) for the same reasons... he will not follow the house rules... so he does not have to live here. "That's not fair".... yep, sure ain't fair.

Pep

Yeah, she's threading on very thin ice right now adn she knows it.
Seems as if when it comes time to make a decision to do x or y, she doesn't even consider/think that she is on thin ice.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Chris,

Coming from experience here as a teenage girl once it is really hard. I don't want to make excuses for her at all, but......you have so many hormones and so much peer pressure. It sucks I tell ya. All you can do is what you keep on doing. You have done so well now. She is an adult and she is making child choices as an adult. Eventually it will come down on her. The question is when? I wish you nothing but good luck and the best with the girls. Someday they will look back and see what a really great dad you are and how much you gave up for them. Unfortunately it takes years sometimes to realize that. I remember when my sister turned about 30 she actually appologized to my mother for all the hard times she put her through. The drugs and the stealing, running away, detention homes. It was a nightmare with her. Prayers to you.

HINY

add me to the list of parents with troubled teens <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . not a great club but im liking the members... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

son is finally doing ok...doing his meetings and counseling. keeping my fingers crossed and praying daily.

ps....we live out in the middle of nowhere---they still find a way...lol

Chris,

Oooh boy.....sending an {{{{mb}}}}} hug from waaay out in the pacific.

The places kids take us too. Limits we never knew existed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Advice whether you like it or not <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> : U R the parent and there is no firing or being laid off from that job. One day they will appreciate you. Hopefully for more than 1 day. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Aloha,
L.

I am in "parent of troubled teens" club as well. Very pretty and very smart, but very defiant, ADHD daughter - 15 years old. Attends alternative school because she was expelled from regular highschool for skipping classes. Is only recently grasping the meaning of "curfew" and still has a ways to go. Impossible to keep in one place because the minute I leave the house or even go take a shower, she can be gone.

I do a lot of praying for her safety and that she will eventually grow up.

My thoughts are with you!

LL

Hi Chris,

Your post scares the crap out of me. I'm a recently separated father with two pre-teen daughters living with me full time. Stories like yours are absolutely what I'm trying to avoid.

I come on here and whine about the emotional trauma that I've been going through but my kids emotional well being is far more important to me than any of that.

I'm fairly new here and not familiar with your marital situation. Do you think that had some effect on your daughters behaviour? If so how and what would you do differently?

Good luck and hang in there!

Miker

<small>[ November 08, 2004, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: Miker ]</small>

Mike,

My (now ex) wife took off almost 6 years ago after 19 years married.
The girls were 8 & 13. She's seen them 3 times since then. She calls a few times a year and sends money at Christmas/birthday.
Yeah, my situation has had a tremendous impact on them. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Don't get me wrong. They are not little terrorists and destroying everything they touch. They are really good kids.

Just grit your teeth and keep your kids in the forefront of all your thoughts & actions.
Raise them the best you can and pray that some of it sinks in. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Chris, you are in my prayers.

Let's pray for all of us who are struggling with teenagers during these times. I can relate a little to all that's being said here about them. "Been there, done that"

Look at all the support you have Chris!

I think it is great that you can all relate to each others teenage problems. I have a 12 YO D and I am not looking forward to the teen thing at all. It is bad enough right now Scary in fact.

HINY