Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Instructions in MB is specifically no talk about Sophia or the affair. I don't want to talk about it. Why is he bringing it up?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">1. He doesn't want to follow instructions specifically targeted to repair the marriage. Maybe he does not want to repair the marriage???
2. He cannot resolve his feelings for Sophia himself and he needs/desires your help to work through those feelings???
3. He knows it annoys you??
4. It is a "safer" topic for him than another topic he wishes to avoid???
5. Attention getting topic??
6. He's stuck in the past??
I may think of more possibilities... Do any of these feel right to you?
Pep
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,474 |
I think the specific reason for each instance that may change from incident to incident. For example, he may try to divert my attention from his treatment of our 10 year old to something from the past so the problem is I am not forgiving.
There is an overarching reason, however, and that's what I'm trying to get at. Complete lack of empathy or sensitivity? A need to be completely open and honest? A desire to sabotage any hope of our reconciling? A desire to be with Sophia that hasn't faded over time? Continuation of the affair?
That's what I'm trying to understand.
Cherished
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Of copurse we can only guess someone else's motives...
Here's one I think may be overarching...
~avoidance~
Pep
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I might add
~avoidance of intimacy~
Getting close is scary... so fighting keeps him safe.
Pep
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
57
guests, and
28
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,661
Posts2,323,619
Members72,372
| |
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
|
|
|
|
|
|
