Oh Sally you have one of those <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

I understand, My H was also Chief MANY years ago.
He went on to do a fellowship. He has been in private practice now for 14 years.

Your H takes his job very seriously (most do) He wants to be the best, he will work himself to the extreme. He may not have much left when he gets home. Dont take it personally. I am still living that. I know my H is faithful (at least where OW are concerned). These men come home so fried they just need down time.
They seem indifferent they just cant perform again.

There is a TON of competition in residency. It will be better next year when he is Chief the competition is over for his group and they will look up to him (the younger group). You will see a great confidence in him, but there will be pressure. He will be expected to know more and the attendings can be hard on him if he messes up. But all in all it is a good thing.

Hang in there, keep applying the principles here and he will come home and respond. Try not to push him away.
Successful Medical marriages usually have very independent wives at the head. Actually my best friends H is a very successful business owner she says the same thing she has too be very independent ortherwise she would have gone nuts.
So get in your running club and find other interests. Just becareful, you can feel VERY ignored being a Physicians wife. There will be that one guy who pays too much attention to you and you will lap it up, DO NOT cross that line.

It recently happened to me. I never even found this guy to be close to "my type" have known him forever. He blubbered all over me TO my H. It woke my H up for about a week <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

This is my life, I know he will never change. I love and adore him for the Man and Physician he is (many national awards). I am proud to be his wife. I will NOT cross the line, but the fact I thought about it scared me here. There are some jobs that you cannot dictate hours this is one of them. There are a few jobs that are great for that in medicine. Hopefully your H is going into plastics. It's Cash business and no night call !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mine's in anesthesiology. His plan is to do a cardiothoracic or pain fellowship. They have already offered him informally the spot on either side if he wants it. He has friends in plastics and they have approached him about joining a new all cash clinic they will open next year, too.

I hear you about other men too. I work out a lot to keep myself sane, and for the first time that I can remember, I was in the gym this week and this one guy really caught my eye. That is so scary. I think it happened because I am so confused about how bad things are at home right now.

But the bright side is that in just the week that I have been reading about MB and have applied the principles I have seen quite tangible, fast results in my husband. I wonder if it is short lived, but I will take it!

I think if I can get my head on straight -- i.e. not be so paranoid about assuming he is having an affair, that will help. I will keep my eyes open though and be aware, but it is not healthy as paranoid as I am lately.

(Warning: Shameless threadjack)

Hey Lemonman...

In your first reply to sally, you said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I had a tough time talking to anyone outside of medicine. All of my life, socializing, vacations were all with MEDICALLY RELATED PEOPLE. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There's your problem right there - you're hanging with the wrong group of folks....come join us lawyers over here....pays to have us as friends..... Besides, we're getting better at talking your lingo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Regards,

Brit's Brat, JD (BS/43)
XH/45
DS/3
Status: D-Day 5/02, divorce final 5/04 after 2 years of trying to recover marriage.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Brit's Brat:
<strong> (Warning: Shameless threadjack)

Hey Lemonman...

In your first reply to sally, you said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I had a tough time talking to anyone outside of medicine. All of my life, socializing, vacations were all with MEDICALLY RELATED PEOPLE. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There's your problem right there - you're hanging with the wrong group of folks....come join us lawyers over here....pays to have us as friends..... Besides, we're getting better at talking your lingo! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Regards,

Brit's Brat, JD (BS/43)
XH/45
DS/3
Status: D-Day 5/02, divorce final 5/04 after 2 years of trying to recover marriage. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Probably not a bad idea. That is all I need...........to be hanging with a bunch of lawyers. I will go from one dysfunctional group to another.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

HEY LM,

I resemble that comment! Besides, hanging with us would make your colleagues wonder what you did wrong! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Two other things for you - did you see Ark's post about tattoo's? I could just see you getting a giant lemonhead candy or candy box....Second, see that you are in the NE...where's abouts?

BB

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Brit's Brat:
<strong> HEY LM,

I resemble that comment! Besides, hanging with us would make your colleagues wonder what you did wrong! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Two other things for you - did you see Ark's post about tattoo's? I could just see you getting a giant lemonhead candy or candy box....Second, see that you are in the NE...where's abouts?

BB </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Aint that the truth. I do know one lawyer and he is a good guy (he couldn't get into medical school I bet.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> --->?joke). Hey...around here brit, I am kind of a Pariah (my views and opinions usually invoke a lot of ill feelings and pissed off MB zealots....LOL), so I will take any invitation to hang out I can get here. Even if it is from a lawyer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Beggars can't be choosers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

LM-

I've been around for a while and have followed your responses to people and I don't think they view you as a pariah - I think you get more push-back because you challenge people to think. (I mostly lurk now because of the status of my situation, but I am a contemporary of 2Long's - here on MB that is, not in age <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> - sorry 2Long, couldn't resist - just getting back at you for all those lawyer jokes you've thrown my way over the years!)

Not sure you want to hang out this a way as, not only am I a lawyer, but I'm a laywer in Dubya country with ML (and NO, I don't have big hair)....


BB

OK, just another thought here. Given your H's specialty-it has the highest rate of substance abuse amoung physicians. Any chance he could be self medicating? Some residents fall prey to this. Just another thought. Hope it is the wrong one, but he can get help if it is an issue.