Music: can't seem to listen without a 1000 triggers.

Television:: never watched much anyway...now can't stand to even have the thing on.

Food: smell of food lately gets me upset.

Quiet Moments: used to savor, a few quiet moments to myself, now. I Hate the buzz in my head.

Advice: not from round here...mostly from family and the few friends I have.

Not being able to cry: Since I've started taking AD's can't seem to cry. Things stay bottled up this way.

Felling WW's arms around me: Actually, any physical contact with WW, from kissing and cuddling to SF. It all could be faked by her. I never know.

Working: used to love my job. Now I can't seem to function. So badly need to quit. The homeless life is looking really good. AKA: bottle of cheap wine and a cardboard box.

My hands shaking: This never seems to stop, at least to some degree.

WW looking at me like I'm sick: which I am....but I hate her pity.

My young kids (4-7) knowing I'm sick: Just hate that they know I'm in a bad way...but are too young to know Mommy caused it.

Being out of control: I'm not a controlling person, never have been, but I can't even control my own thoughts from one minute to the next; let alone, where my life is going.


Sorry for the rant..... just seems so much to dislike around me now...

Naples I can relate to every single one of those.

{{{naples}}}

The good news ? None of them last.The shakes and lack of emotion (as well as the cold sweats) made me give up Cipramil after 4 weeks.

The gym helped me rescue my body to some extent- and an outlet for nervous energy. It also helped restore my appetite and help me sleep without temazepam.

Honestly - you won;t belive me now but it gets better fast.

All blessings.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Advice: not from round here...mostly from family and the few friends I have.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's the biggest one for me. And I agree - it's not the advice I get here....it's from those well meaning folks that have yet to walk through the 10,000 miles of burnt gorilla poopy that I've lived through, yet are knowledgeable on all life's lessons enough to comment on my particular desert.

((((Naples))))

That's the last one to go, unfortunately. Fortunately, tho, we've got buds here that HAVE walked through this particular desert....

I'm so sad you feel so lousy and I'm sure practically everyone here can relate to most of it. It is madness that one person's selfishness can have such damaging effects on their partner's health. I feel I was quite lucky. The real sicky phase lasted less than a month. Since then I've had some really really bad days but mostly I am fine. I find keeping busy is a great distraction and my 3 kids really help me here. I just can't believe my WH has messed up all of our lives so badly. Shame on him.

So, you are not alone and when you do feel overwhelmed, just get on your computer and type type type. Kind thoughts. TT.