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For those who don't know my story, my wife had (I believe) an EA with a married male friend of ours at the end of 2003. Both deny it was anything other than a friendship and both deny any physical connection or continuing contact. I still talk with OM's wife and we have compared notes. We both believe they are not talking now and OM's wife believes nothing happened.
In the last two weeks however my W took some personal lubricant with her during the day once and used it the next day at some point. I know the alarm bells are going off, but besides the obvious, is there any other time that you as women would use or take your lubricant? Is it possible that I could be misinterpreting the situation here?
Whatever thoughts, good or bad, will be respected.
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WEll, I can't think of any legitimate reason that she would need a lubricant. On the other hand, I find it odd that she would even NEED it if she were having an affair.
Can you have her followed or do some more detective work? I wouldn't confront her with this information. I would suggest you get MORE solid proof.
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How is your sex life with your wife?
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Thank you for responding.
ML- I have not confronted her. I only noticed this 8 days ago and was not paying attention to this before that. I have no history, including whether she was doing the same thing last year. I intend to watch more closely to understand if this happens more regularly.
Believer- We have had our moments throughout our 19 years when her interest was less than mine. Never the other way. During her alleged friendship, she woke up (wow). This year has been pretty good too. Things have drifted back though lately. I know you are thinking something, but I cannot tell what.
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Maduro, how old is your wife? I read somewhere that vaginal dryness can be a problem in menopausal or premenopausal women. Maybe she is feeling discomfort for some reason? Why don't you just come out and ask her why she took it with her?
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Knewbetter- Thank you for your response. My wife is 40. You have identified the simple and probably correct thing to do. However, my wife has been a little different the last few weeks. Maybe nothing, but I have learned to trust my gut when something seems out of place. I did not the first time around. My intuitions say to wait for now, or at least for a better time. I expect you are right that this could be a comfort issue. I have never noticed her doing so before though.
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maduro - I don't buy the comfort issue. Dryness is only a problem if a woman is having SF.
What else has happened in the last couple of weeks?
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Actually out of curiosity I looked it up and apparently irritation, itching,and inflammation occurs with this condition. Sorry if it's TMI but I WAS curious about this.
<small>[ November 11, 2004, 04:20 PM: Message edited by: knewbetter ]</small>
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Maduro,
Does your W like to masterbate? She could need it for that.
k
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Thanks everybody- My W has been a little aloof lately. Nothing more than that. I also thought about masturbation, but the day she took it she actually dropped her mother at the airport in the morning. I have to just keep watching. Sounds like feminine needs is a possibility, but not a likely one.
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Possibility 1: Vaginal sex Possibility 2: Anal sex Possibility 3: To ease tampon insertion [I know it's a stretch..just giving the benefit of the doubt] Two of these do not include you..suggest EA has become PA <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Noodle
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Noodle- This happened during the week after she needed a tampon. This leaves a pretty short list.
Believer- You had asked how our (wife and me) sex life was. What were you thinking?
I understand from the ladies who responded that there are few reasons to do what she did.
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Maduro, I am sorry you are having doubts. I agree that you should ask her.....and pay very close attention to how she answers. On the flip side, I do believe there is a decent chance that it would have been masturbation or that possibly she was a little "dry" after her time of the month (we women are all a little different <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> ). From a medical perspective, it could also be that she has an infection (bladder, urinary tract, vaginal) that may be causing her itching or irritation. Lubrican can help to ease that. My vote is to ask her. If not, then hire a PI to find out for sure. Good luck. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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My initial reaction is that she needed it for sex. It was not her menstral cycle. If she had an infection, she would need medication, not lubricant. Would she be masturbating at work? Add to that her recent EA and her being aloof with you and my gut feeling is that the EA has turned into a PA. Most of them do... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Ask her point blank why she needed it. Start watching, listening and hire a PI if necessary. This could escalate quickly if you don't nip it in the bud. I hope I'm wrong but I call 'em like I see 'em.
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Did you see the bottle return? How did you know she used it? perhaps she gave it to her mother who she was dropping off at the airport?
Just some other possible scenarios. I am not of that age so I have no idea what my body parts would be doing at that age. But for me I have no need for lubrication now that I am not nursing.
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Laundry mistress, are you suggesting that she might have brought it to give to her mother as she dropped her at the airport? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> This is getting wierd. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Also, how did you know she used it? It does not really change the issue, but I just thought that was wierd also. Does she use that lubricant when she has SF with you? Just trying to make sense of this. I still suspect a PA.
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Laundry Mistress, LadySing58-
I cannot be sure if she used it. What I noticed was that on one day it was gone around lunch time. I thought I was mistaken at first. But that night I looked and noticed it was back. This was the day she went to the airport. I never paid attention to this before, so I do not know if this was a regular occurrence. I checked the next day and it was there, but facing the other way. She generally uses lubricant for SF, so I do have concerns. I feel I cannot ask her at this time without knowing more.
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Having been there and done that I don't buy the menopause reasoning. None of the symptoms I had - or have heard of - would have made me think of using lubricant. But, age 40 is not too young - again, been there and done that.
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