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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479 |
***Edited post***
Wife emails me this "What can I say, I’m just proving I’m as big of a loser as everyone thinks I am."
I need to learn to handle these on my own, only way I'll ever grow but I could use some help on the response.
<small>[ November 11, 2004, 02:41 PM: Message edited by: Bear04 ]</small>
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479 |
You know what, I can't believe I even posted this topic. Proof of how insecure this once proud man has become. I don't even know what to say to my W. At least this group understands me.
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781 |
Bear,
Is the question whether you should help her pay this bill or not?
Your ultimate goal is to get her to move back home and to rebuild the marriage. Yo uhave to decide, I guess, whether paying this bill will move you closer to that.
Will it be seen by her a sign of love, ala Plan A, or will it be seen as a sign that she can manipulate you?
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479 |
Well, I deleted the post, but, to answer your question. No, I am not going to pay that bill for her. I should have been more specific. it was the last line about her pity party saying that she guess's she is as big of a loser as everyone thinks she is.
Here is my reply to her calling herself a loser.
"Late fee stinks but won't be on you credit unless it is over 30 days late. You are not a loser. You are my wife and the woman I love. I do not want to read or hear talk like that again. If you would like we could talk about this."
What do you think?
<small>[ November 11, 2004, 03:39 PM: Message edited by: Bear04 ]</small>
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479
Member
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 479 |
Uh oh, did I screw up by telling her ILY? That is one of those "12 Ugly things..." and something I told myself I was going to stay away from doing because i think it makes me look needy and when I said it in the past, she would get p*ssed and throw it back at me. This can just get so confusing.
I saw her statement as a cry for me to reach out and lift up her self esteem. What was I supposed to say, "No, you are not a loser, you are just acting like one." or "Yes you are a loser."
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