Okay, so I'm going through a DV right now. I've been seperated for almost 6 months now. I'm young and I'm trying to move on with my life. I'm trying, though I still miss my H terribly.

I just find it awful that I keep getting hit on by married men who want to cheat on their wives. I tell them no (of course), to go work on their marriages, but they continue to harrass me. I wish I knew thier wives so I could warn them but I don't so I just feel horrible. It only makes my view of the sactity of marriage even worse.

I tell them how hurt I was and still am because of my husband's infidelity but they don't think anything of it.

I'm just wondering, are any of the other seperated women here finding that they are attracting married men? I've never gotten hit on before by married men both before I was with my husband and when I was with my husband. It's as if they think that since I've been married it's easier to approach me. I just think it's disgusting. I even had one of them visit this site and he came back to me saying that he sees what people are saying but I just don't understand that working on his marriage just isn't an option.

How can they think this is supposed to attract me of all people!?!?

I've had at least 4 married men approach me in the past few weeks and they are completely open to letting me know about their marital status. I just don't understand.

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 09:24 PM: Message edited by: ivoryivy ]</small>

I got hit on by EVERY one of my H's married friends when we seperated.

One of them called me so often that I had to have my then STBXH have a "talk" with him.

Edited to add that my H is no longer friends with ANY of these men.

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Miss Priss ]</small>

I understand this happens to widows as well Ivy. You are such a pretty, pretty woman anyway, I'm not surprised you're getting hit on, it's just the caliber of men and the timing that needs to change. What is the status of your DV right now? KB

I'm uncertain about the status as of right now. I've been trying to contact my STBXH but he doesn't return my calls or e-mails because he is supposed to be doing the paperwork.

I've also been trying to reach him to set up a time I can pick up more of my things but something keeps coming up and he can never be there so I haven't been able to go and I need my winter clothes soon.

As to being hit on, I do get hit on my single guys but I would say for ever single guy that hits on me I have 2 married men.

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 09:45 PM: Message edited by: ivoryivy ]</small>

Hey Ivory...this disgusts me too. I have such a poor view of married men knowingly hitting on other woman behind their wives backs. It is like they know you are vulnerable...yuck! Of all people, my dad warned me about this. He said that I am emotionally unstable and unfortunately there are a lot of guys in this world who just want a bit of physical satisfaction without any strings attached or stressors associated with real life. I know my WH probably got allured by the surreal life of an affair because he could leave all his personal stress and unhappiness behind and just relax while another woman physically satisfied him. It is sickening really but obviously it is happening left and right in this world. I read somewhere that 1 out of 4 married men will cheat on their wives. It is not much better for women...1 out of 5 wives will cheat on their husbands. I don't get it...maybe I just grew up with different morals and it probably helped that no one in my family has gone through the emotional hell of a divorce so I only witnessed love amongst my parents and grandparents.

Be weary...keep your guard up. I also have been hit on but not by a married man thank god. Some guy at the Halloween party I went to actually took a cab home with me (said he was going to go out in PB where I live) and got as far as my doorstep (wanted to come up to my apartment) when I made the conscious decision to say no. My heart is not healed. My love still lies with my WH with whom I'll be losing to divorce in 6 months. I am not ready to expose all the little pieces of my broken heart to another man right now...no way. I will go out and have a good time...mingle, socialize but I will be aware that guys may see me as this lonely, hurt wife who is "on the rebound."

We are better than that. Go out and have fun but keep your guard up for sure. Go tell these scumbag men to go home to their frickin wives.

-K

Well,
I'm not seperated or divorced but get 'hit on' fairly often.

I think if you are an attractive female, some(yes, even some married) guys are just going to make their moves towards you.

I just roll my eyes and go about my business.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> why do married men think seperated women will help them cheat? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Experience, probably. They have learned that hurting women are more vulnerable, not to mention some seek out revenge affairs.

I sometimes get the same thing. I'm separated and have had married women come on to me as well.

I don't know what to say. People are sick.
Moral people are few and far between, and their numbers are dwindling.

Strange as it seems I to have had a few married women proposition me and I am far from being in a troubled marriage. I asked my W what her take was on this and she said that maybe its because I'm not looking to get involved with another woman that I attract these married women who obviously have issues in and out of their marriages. She also stated that ic could also be that these women are attracted not so much by me but by the fact that I belongs to her that it becomes an ego trip for them to woo me away from her. In any case, I have avoided any further contact with these women and hope that one day they find more positive ways to heal whatever emptyness they have inside themselves.

You would think that they could see that someone who was hurt by an affair doesn't really find someone who is trying to do the same thing to their wives appealing to get envolved with.

Three words: People are gross.


Also, certain people can "smell" pain and prey on it.

I'm so sorry....but girl! Your new strength is inspiring!