For those of you who know that H was on a "hunting trip". Nope...same woman he has been talking to since May...he drove 17 hours to see here. But they are just "friends"
He lied to me...he has been lying to me since May.
Lying, hiding, telling stories...

What man drives 17 hours to see a female "friend"? One that you've been e-mailing and calling since May?

Please, the men out there...tell me I'm not nuts.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by LovingWifeInTexas:
<strong> For those of you who know that H was on a "hunting trip". Nope...same woman he has been talking to since May...he drove 17 hours to see here. But they are just "friends"
He lied to me...he has been lying to me since May.
Lying, hiding, telling stories...

What man drives 17 hours to see a female "friend"? One that you've been e-mailing and calling since May?

Please, the men out there...tell me I'm not nuts. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YOu are not nuts, just in denial. It is tough, we all want to just think of the river in Egypt. I know I have been there. Sorry for this revelation. DO what you think is right for YOU. I am not qualified to give marriage building advice but I hope you can find support through this emotionally devestating time. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ November 11, 2004, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: lemonman ]</small>

If my FWH's A taught me anything it was to "trust my gut". Our instincts are a survival mechanism...an internal alarm system.

You are not nuts. The question is...are you listening to your instincts?

The link in my signature line is a compilation of the best recovery advice there is, including how to accelerate the end of the affair. I hope you find it helpful

LWIT,

You are not nuts. You have to trust that "gut feeling". Mine has not been wrong yet. My WW is now my STBXW. I am seeing an attorney tomorrow. I refuse to be a doormat for her to stomp all over. I have done nothing but try since this all began and all she has done to me is stab me in the heart every chance she got. I have been totally honest since this started besides a few missteps to determine if she was being honest, and she has hidden things time and again. Now I try and trust her and what does she do? She runs off and gets a hotel with the OM! I watched Dr. Phil today and he said that relationships born from an affair only have a 1 out of 100 chance of lasting. I can't wait for that time down the road when my STBXW's relationship with the OM goes south. I mean, right now they don't have bills, kids and everyday stresses to worry about.

I say good luck to them.

Misn'tF

MIF,

Our D-days were about a week apart. It was almost 3 weeks ago that I made the decision you've just made. You hung in there longer than I did. You'll know in your gut/heart if this is the right decision. I am very confident that I made the right decision. I have now lost all "loving feelings" for WH too. I still love him and always will. But it's not the same anymore. My closest friend said that as soon as I made that decision, I "got my spark back" that had been missing for so long. I've had quite a few friends make similar comments now too. I feel really good about my decision, I know it was the right one. Only YOU know when it's over. Only YOU know when you've done all you can and put up with all you can. I'll also be filing for D in the new few days. Going to the courthouse today to get the paperwork. (Hoping to do this without attorneys.)

lets just say he is on his way home. And all of the sudden...wants to work on "us". I don't know how true that is mom. He has been lying for too long now. But maybe when I see the white's of his eyes and he says it...I'll know if he means it. I've known all along what he was doing...gut was right all 4 times.
Told him last night...I've been right all 4 times...you wanna know what's gonna happen next? He says what? I told him he will come out of this "fog" he is in and he will regret this all.
Told him that he had last night to make a decision. He either is married or his not. I wasn't doing this anymore. The fact that I could tell him that with him 17 hours away, in another state, standing in another woman's house, has to be by the grace of God. But I told him no more, he will not do this anymore. He could either take his ring off and do whatever he wanted with her or anyone else and I was going to start divorce processes or he could salvage what little he has left and start working on it.

He at first said that I'd have an answer tomorrow, I said nope, doesn't work like that anymore. I've been lied to and strung along since February of this year and another woman has been in our lives since May...your standing in her house, I call the shots now. If you want me, then your gonna tell me tonight. Otherwise I'm done. He asked for a couple hours, I said ok. Jimmy was there the whole time.

Brian called back...he couldn't even say it...but managed to get it out. He said he wasn't ready to give up on "us" yet. Didn't sound very sincere, but heck, I did rain on his little party he thought he was going to have. But not my problem.

We got off the phone near nine and last night he was still going to be home Sunday. Which means he was going to be there with her until Saturday morning. I thought about it. Called him this morning at 7:40 am...went straight to voicemail...left a message "Well, you got the sleep you needed from your long drive, and there is no reason to be there anymore since you decided on us. Please call me when you get this message and let me know when your leaving and where your at. I'll expect to see you tomorrow night (Saturday), bye.

He called at 10:00 today and said he was leaving in 30 mins (this shocked me). I asked him if he has found any "love" yet for me. Long pause...and then he said...are you asking if I missed you, then yes. I miss you. He told me that if he couldn't have gotten this feeling that he would have left me. Then as we were getting off the phone after I told him where this has put me emotionally, I said one thing I know for sure is that I love you. Long pause...he said, ok well I'll be leaving in 30 mins. I said, see you are already ignoring me...he said I'm not doing that, that's not my intention at all. So I said, ok, what do you call that then. He just said..."I still love you too."

That's all I know as of 1:30 today.

P.S. I will never again feel guilty about my gut instinct. Instead, if I'm wrong, he is gonna have to prove it.

What was he trying to do, get even? 4 years ago we didn't have kids, a house, bills.
Now we do and he does this.