Today my husband gets a call from his estranged sister that she tried to commit suicide and that she has been diagnosed bipolar and alcoholic. We have stayed away from her because well she didn't seem very healthy for us. She does a lot of crazy making.
Then he goes and tells her why we havent been in touch because what we have is good here blah blah. the marriage between us is good and it is funny because he is so deep in denial himself. After the phone call, I said please don't say our marriage is great to anyone cause it hasn't been and you know that I have been miserable. I have felt neglected and rejected many times in this relationship and then he brings up excuses about work or something like that. I said it has been for 10 years now and there is always some kind of excuse. It is beyond this. I told him many people including my son's therapist and friends and neighbors have commented that I am pretty much a single mom and doing my best. I told him that I want us to go to counseling after he retires so we can turn a new leaf and make changes in our relationship. He just rolls his eyes and gets really defensive and it certainly doesn't make me want to bother telling him of the A and it makes me want to give up and go have one anyhow because what difference does it makes. Anyone else feel like this?

Confessing your affair to your H may well be what finally wakes him up from his neglectful complacency. Beleive me, there are few things that rock one's world as finding out you've been betrayed. There are two outcomes from confessing, the first one is that the marriage ends and the other is that it gets rebuilt into a better one. Is it worth confessing? of course it is but you have to decide whether or not the outcomes are better than the slow, lingering painful death your marriage is experinecing at this moment. It's your call.

:::Beleive me, there are few things that rock one's world as finding out you've been betrayed.

Amen to that!

AN