I just wanted to take a moment and introduce myself. My name is Michael I live in upstate NY where I have 3 wonderful children and a beautiful wife I care and love for deeply. With all of that said and done I will go into my problem and maybe some of you can help me out because I feel like I have run out of options.
My wife of almost 11 yrs ( Feb 12th ) had an affair with a an old flame from years ago. This affair started this May of 2004 we were having problems before this affair and she had even talked seperation. I found out in July about this affair even who it was and where he lived through friends and family who cared. My wife claims she has only had sex with this person on one occasion and a few other things here and there. This is not the first affair my wife has had with this person, her first affair was when we first got married and she had severe forplay with him, I forgave her for this affair over time even though I have felt so much hurt from it. but i figured we did get married and she still had feelings for this person. Now almost 11 years later my wife has an affair with the exact same person. I have even talked to this person and he swears he has ended it with her on a sexual basis but will always be there for her as a friend, he is not looking for any type of relaionship with my wife, even though she does want one from him, she can not tell me why she is so hung up on this person. I have taken a very hard look at myself and find that I have not shown my wife all of the love I do have for her and I even have taken for granted that she will always be there. We tried a marriage counselor and it seemed to work for awhile but because of cash problems we had to stop going. My wife has been off and on with this person since may, I feel the only thing I can do at this point is confront this person again and whoop the crap out of him and then maybe he will force her to stay away. I know this is the wrong answer but I'm so lost. we are now at a point where she wants to save are marriage but does not know how I will ever trust her again, My daughter wrote her mother a very long letter talking of faith, betrayal,and dishonesty..My children made there mother swear on a bible that she will never see this person again, but I fear she will only break there hearts in the end. what can I do to halp her stay away and for her to be more honest with me about everything.
Michael -----> If you need more info to help answer this question please feel free to ask. I'm very desperate but running low on trying energy.
