My first child is due in 4 weeks, my WH is still living with his mother, no longer seeing OW and hasn't for a while as far as I can tell. I know he is leaning towards coming home and working on the M, but he still isn't here yet. I guess I'm hoping that seeing his daughter born (he will be there for the delivery) will be the push he needs to come home and be a family again. However, in the back of my mind is the irrational fear that he won't fall in love with her the way I have.

How did your H's react when your children were born? Did some not bond or feel that love right away?

My H was mid-A when our D was born. He left me in the hospital to have dinner in one of the best restaurants in town with OW (I didn't know at the time) He loved our D from the first minute. He tried to spend lots of time with her and in fact, it helped keep us together--we had someone to bond with and over. I think it helped. One thing I would have done sooner was pump breastmilk and let him feed her with the bottle. That way we could have shared more and he wouldn't have felt left out every.

Sadly, he and OW continued to get deeper and deeper into the A. He actually took our D to meet OW at a park. I later found pix she took of H and D together. It made me ill to think of that nightmare woman around my D. Thankfully, she was only a couple of months old and knows nothing.

So, if the OW is really out of the picture, I think a child CAN help, but the danger is making everything about your child and not dealing with marriage issues and healing after the A.

I read your thread and my heart breaks for you. I relate so well. My H was there in body, but not in spirit. It hurts to know how he held me in such disdain that he could witness the birth of our child and then go out and be with her. That is hard to get over.

Kloe,
I remember when our first son was born. We were not married at the time. I lived with my parents still. He lived 2 hours away. He could not see the baby only on the weekends. Even though he had one son already there was a bond with our son the day he was born.

When he would visit us on the weekends he would be so torn when he had to go. He wanted to be there to help me plus he didn't like leaving his newborn son. He did everything. Changed diapers, fed him was protective of him. He took over when he came because he had so little time with him. Eight months later we got married. He said he wanted to be a part of our lives. He knew he was missing out.

Funny how he forgets those days now though. Since he is now gone again the time I need him the most. But that is ok. I won't have to miss out on anything. He will and he will regret it later. I also wonder how he can just walk away after meeting our little daughter. Maybe he won't only time will tell I guess.