lemonman I would not like it if you stopped posting me. I need your feed back. YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! What on earth am I thinking. He should be doing more. I wonder why I think so little is so good?

I do mean it however- I told him I want and need more.

I have been off the pity train though. I have actually enjoyed being me, just me- KMEJ lately. I get frustrated with H, but I am still okay. I have my boys, I have my friends, I have me. You know what, I think that might be enough.

What did you think of that game????

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by T in the road:
<strong> lemonman I would not like it if you stopped posting me. I need your feed back. YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! What on earth am I thinking. He should be doing more. I wonder why I think so little is so good?

I do mean it however- I told him I want and need more.

I have been off the pity train though. I have actually enjoyed being me, just me- KMEJ lately. I get frustrated with H, but I am still okay. I have my boys, I have my friends, I have me. You know what, I think that might be enough.

What did you think of that game???? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">The game was terrific. Mcnabb was incredible. I think the Eagles buried any chance that Dallas had of having any type of success this season. I think the only team that can challenge the Eagles in the NFC are Packers (sorry, but I think your Vikes are too flawed to really make a true push). These are good times to be an Eagles fan, we have suffered three years in a row with NCF Championship losses. The addition of Terrell Owens has changed everything. We have a real shot at winning the SB ths year. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

KMEJ,

First, I thought you changed your name becuase your husband likes to "pop in" here. Now, that no longer seems to be an issue.

Also, if it is enough to have just you, your friends and your boys...then what exactly do you want from the posters here? I thought the problem is that it ISN'T enough - you want a relationship where you are respected, treated well and in which you are told THE TRUTH.

You sound like you have settled. You are simply willing to accept your fate, as long as your H makes changes around the edges. It's apparently all right for him to degrade you, neglect your kids and try to sleep with your friends, as long as he says "goodbye" to you.

A year from now, I fear, we will still be having this same conversation.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by AndrewA:
<strong> KMEJ,


A year from now, I fear, we will still be having this same conversation. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I fear this also. I think her husband is a master at doing just enough each time to "buy more" time. I think it still will take a major trajedy (child being hurt, Other Woman being pregnant, etc...) for any MAJOR action to take place.

KMEJ: This is not meant as a put down to you, but I truly believe this. I hope that you prove me wrong. I would love to be wrong about you. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Andrew A-Lemonman~
I said that I think I am okay with that. I am not 100%- so here I sit.

I hope that we are not still having this conversation a year from now. I hope that Lemonman finds himself the incredible woman he deserves and that Andrew A that your wife comes to her senses and makes things work with you and that you are both very very happy and not on these boards so much <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . I also have hopes and dreams for myself as well. I want to have a H that loves and respects me, if in a year from now that is not true, then I will be in the divorce process and be with my children. WHo knows maybe someday I will find a great guy who cares about me- someone who would come to a place like this to better themselves for their mate if needed- like you two.

Have a little faith in me. I feel stronger everyday. H just commented the other day that he is not sure what he thinks of my new found "spunk", but that it is different for him.
I myself rather like it, I think Mrs. Spunk is going to take up residence <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ November 16, 2004, 07:26 PM: Message edited by: KMEJ ]</small>

Oh I almost forgot. My precious Vikings are down but they are not out yet. I have faith in them!! Besides that they were ROBBED!! The refs made some bad calls... Oh well game is done- however I do not think the Vikings are just yet. They still have some steam!

The Eagles did look GOOD though! What a great game.

KMEJ,

I said I would not post anymore, and I will do my best not to. But I want to say something here. And I'm sorry, but it will not be very nice.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> Stand Up For Yourself!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Grow a backbone! Stop being spineless! Quit worrying so much about pleasing people, and start pleasing yourself! Start working toward what YOU want!

Ugh! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I see you on here saying something, and when someone challenges you, you tiptoe back on your words...."I'm sorry, I didn't mean" "You're right, I wasn't thinking straight" "You are right, I need to"....blah blah blah.

What's that saying? Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Have you taken Stillwed's Enneagram test? My guess is that you are probably either a "Peacekeeper" or a "Helper" like me. You try to keep the peace at almost any cost.....EVEN YOUR OWN!

You say you are angry with H about the # - but then you say that maybe you should look at his hiding it under a different name as "accomodating" you? Puuuuuuhhhhhleaaaase! What level of self deception are you trying to achieve? You were angry! Why couldn't you accept that, and stand up for what you are angry about!?!?!?!? There is nothing wrong with being angry! You have EVERY RIGHT!

You are getting something out of posting here. You are getting something out of staying in your situation......otherwise, you would have left it long ago. I realize you don't love yourself as you should. But that will not fix in a day.

My guess is that you do enjoy the sympathy. You say there is no pity party, but that is exactly what it is.....it is "poor KMEJ" - you have put your all into this M, and you keep going". Well, good......so how has martyrdom treated you lately? Has being a martyr really gotten you any closer to happiness? Hmmmmmm resounding NO.

KMEJ - I am probably being really hard on you tonight. And I have no doubt that this post will mean absolutely nothing. Sure, you might say "I will think about what you are saying," or at the very most "You are right, I NEED TO do XYZ." But you won't DO XYZ - you will just keep getting walked on.....

The thing is.....

I actually REALLY care about you. I do....Inside, I think there is a great woman who could surface.....but she is smothered in denial and self deception.....and that is why I am so angry with you. I want to see you DO SOMETHING! Not just sit there being a victim all the time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

You know.....many posted to me way back when....and they said that "anger was the antithesis of apathy." In other words, If I was not angry, then I wouldn't care.

KMEJ - start listening, and stop denying. If you want to say something, and someone on here challenges you.....by goodness, grow a spine, and stand up for yourself. Defend what you said. Don't just please the people so they stay around.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Sooner or later, that, too, will wear on you....

KMEJ,

Did you give your husband the letter you were working on the other day? If so..what did he say?

Yes I gave it to him. Said he wanted to think about it more before we talked...

So..did you get a definite time to talk to him? Don't let him get out of this.

He said Thursday after Bowling, when the kids are asleep and we should have no interuptions.