Nellie's post about "6 months" made me want to post a quick update (but we know how long-winded I can be, don't we? )<P>I have been very busy of late. I have been having work problems again and I'm beginning to think they are singling me out because they need a scapegoat and I am just a good one... Also, recently I had applied for a new position they opened, one for which I was well-qualified and which would have been a lateral transfer for me. The person who got the job has been employed there for 2.5 years while I have been there over 8.5 years. Our union is backing me and we are filing a grievance ... <P>I was asked by another department if I could work part time for them in the evenings two nights a week. I need the money, so I said ok. I am also taking two classes - one a regular one on Wednesday eves, and one online. I sing with a Christian singing group and we rehearse on Monday eves, so I am now occupied four nights a week at least until December. And, I have been considering checking with my SIL to see if they need anyone for the bowling league to which she belongs on Friday nights... I'm not sure about that one, yet, though. And every Saturday for the past two and the upcoming two I have something going on. It has given me little time to miss my husband, but somehow I find the time to do so anyway. <P>It is now 12 months and 5 days since revelation. In mid-November it will be 12 months since he moved out. I am still in Plan A, and occasionally think about Plan B when I start sinking to the lowest lows of the roller coaster... but I generally find my way out of those lows and feel ok again with Plan A.<P>We have a date to go to a wedding at the end of October - a Halloween wedding, complete with costumes and all. I don't think he will be quite prepared for me that day ... least I hope not I'm planning on shopping at some ... um ... leather stores I think I will see if I can find him an "Ares" costume (the God of War - seen most commonly on Xena). I had thought about going as Xena, but I am really too short to pull it off ... however, I think that with the right leather clothing I can really shock him (not to mention my friends at the wedding - although with some of the costumes I've heard about already, I dunno if mine will be all that shocking to anyone.<P>The Ares costume will look marvelous on him ... and I am going to reserve a room at a motel because I am not planning on being in any condition to drive home after the wedding... and I'm pretty certain he won't be, either. Better safe than sorry. He has to work the next day at 10 am - I think if I request a wake up call at 8:30am he will be able to get to work on time - it is only 45 minutes from where he works that we would be staying.<P>And who knows what might happen ... ???<P>Yes, I will bring condoms - I don't want whatever the slug might be giving away...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

terri,<P>Thanks for the update. Wow your life seems like you've learned how to manage this pain quite well. I always look forward to your responses on the threads. I know it will be dead on right.<P>Have you ever thought you are in the wrong line of business - and should go into marriage counseling specializing in the Harley methods? Boy oh boy, there sure is a need for decent counselors now a days....<P>I am happy the slug is tiring.... If it is a lifetime that you are committed to your marriage for, boy does she have a lot to compete with. Betcha she loses!!!!

Hi terri, it's always so refreshing to read your posts. I bet you have your moments, but in general you can convey such a positive attitude no matter what. I appreciate that a lot.<P>A wedding hey? DO you know what? The click to get things right for me and my H was at a wedding last year. Remember, I posted about going, I had doubts. You were one of the people that answered me. I hope the same happens to you.And this wedding will be the begining of much better times.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat<P>

Your H seems willing to go places with you. Why is his OW willing to let him do that? My H's OW pages him if he leaves here fifteen minutes late after dropping off the kids. I suspect she is behind his decisions to see less and less of the kids except at her house. I am not really too surprised that my H is going along with the OW's wishes, because he is such a conflict avoider, and now that he has transferred his affections to her, I suspect he would feel that doing things with me would be akin to cheating.

Let's see...Xena or a slug? Xena? slug? How could he resist Xena (even a short Xena )?<P>I hope things work out!!!<P>SHA

Hi Terri -<P>I'm so glad that you made a thread!!<P>I have been looking around trying to find your email because I wanted to send you a Happy Anniversary Card!! <P>I noticed on the first met H thread that the 9th was you're anniversary....mine is the 30th.<P>So, I'll say Happy Anniversary to you here!!! <P>I am glad that the two of you are goint to be together for something so fun!! Could be a good push and will definitely be a great time.<P>I like the Xena idea......See what kind of high shoes you could find and then make leather straps go up your legs to your knees.......Just a thought!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba

Hi terri! When I started here, I couldn't believe how long you had been going with plan A. And here I am 8 months later!!! Glad to hear you are keeping busy. I think the costume idea sounds great! Even if he's not impressed, you should be impressed with yourself for making the most of it! <P>Sending wishes for strength and peace to you.<BR>-Annie

I have been having trouble getting online since the hurricane blew through here - phone line noise and lousy connect speeds! So I will make this quick...<P>Thanks everyone for the very uplifting responses! It really is a good feeling when people are pulling for you, isn't it? That's why I keep coming back here! <P>trustntruth, I have actually thought about going into counselling. $$ is the only thing keeping me from doing it right now. That and the fact that I am not quite in the right place mentally and emotionally to be a good counsellor at this moment. But it's an idea I have been toying with over the last few months.<P>Kat, I remember that wedding post of yours ... and that I was so happy that it was the breakthrough you needed. You have been an inspiration to me, as well - you always seem to have a positive answer to EVERYTHING and that's pretty important when we are all dealing with as devastating a topic as this one ... Thanks!<P>Nellie, I don't think the slug really knows when he does things with me. And he hasn't done anything with me in weeks (except lunch one day last week, but he had an ulterior motive for that one - wanted help with this old computer he was going to buy) - not since work got busy and I couldn't take any more week days off. And she has changed jobs again, probably making her schedule even more exactly like his than it was before - so not much freedom, lately... Whenever he was with me in the summer time, I would invariably have an odd phone number show up on my caller id ... she would call when she didn't know where he was to see if I answered. Solved that problem. I don't answer the phone unless I know who it is on the other end FIRST. And she DOES give him a hard time, apparently... he made an offhand comment about "what he would have to listen to when he got home."<P>Thanks, Sir HA! I'm not beautiful by any means, but I'm DEFINITELY way more attractive than the slug! <P>Thank you for the anniversary wishes Sheba! It's weird knowing that it's come and gone with nary a word of acknowledgment from him at all. I didn't do anything on that day, but on Saturday gave him the card I'd gotten him earlier. I don't know if he ever read it. Oh well - his loss, right? As for the costume, I'm hoping to get out and look at some costumes this weekend. If they are way too expensive, I will at least have a better idea of how to achieve what it is I want.<P>Annie ... I remember when you came - can't believe it's been 8 months already! And I'm glad that you're still hanging in there! Sometimes it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I know that no matter what, I will be happy with what I've done to try to save my marriage - and that's all I can ask for. And I will be happy with ME when all is said and done, too.<P>No matter what, what I'm doing will be worth it!<P>Thanks again everyone! I'm so glad I got online finally so I could read your messages!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

Terri, <P>Just finally got in here....I am glad to hear that you are keeping yourself busy and have not giving up....as for myself....hanging in there...will try to write later as I am at work now and need to get back to it...cannot get on from home...<P>kathy