Hello all,
Well i tried to expose the OM to the Jag ofc.
and was basically shut down. Told that as long as this doesn't affecting the way he does his job or performs they can do nothing. Also stated that d/t man is a senior chief in navy there pretty little they can do.
I didn't think i would get to far with this but i had to try it to find out. Others that have been in the navy and know of the sit. a little said not to waste my time because of the above, guess they where right.
Well my next option is to expose this to OM wife, or SBTX not sure on this yet. According to my WW they have been off and on separations for years and presently he is awaiting the D papers to be finalized sometime this mo. Who knows what true and what is not?
I thought about calling OMW tonight and asked if she is aware of what has been going on. OM is out on sea trials this week so thought this woudl be a perfect time to do this. I just don't know if this would do any good if they are awaiting the finalization of their divorce. Would she even care? Would it do my sit. anygood if they are truely already separated and on the verge of finalizing there divorce?
I think i should let her know, or at least try.
If she hangs up she hangs up.
Any other thoughts??
jets

Jets,

Call her. At this point, what is there to lose? Even if she is finalizing a divorce...she'll likely be very interested in knowing.

Good luck!

Well tried several times last night and this am to reach OM Wife with no avail. either got answering machine, or daughter answered phone stated she was sleeping.
Maybe is a sign that i should persue this.
Don't know if it will help my sit. out anyways.
Supposed OM wife and him are waiting on finalization of divorce.
She may want nothing to do with talking with me.
Should i keep trying or just say forget it??
jets

just for arguement sake they are D and she thought he might have been a cheater but had no proff ,,, This may mean something to her ...

Who knows but in any event again what have you got to loose ? right .

Jets,
Wow this is a tough one. I would continue to call. Don't get me started on the Navy and their dealings with adultery. My husband is in the Navy, not supporting us financially anymore, living with OW (who is also married to a sailor, in the process of a divorce). My H command has done NOTHING as it is not 'effecting his ability to get his job done'. I am telling you.... I contacted the OW (she is a low life) and her H (who didn't care, as he is also sleeping around).
However, I am not saying that you shouldn't contact the spouse. I would. She could say that she doesn't care...but at least you tried.
Just my 2 cents.
Danielle

Thnks, 3isacrowd and Danni,
I might still cont. to try your right don't really have nothing to lose at this point.
Danielle- are you from VABCH area??
I also tried the JAG ofc. the other day, pretty much got the same answer you got. If it is not affecting his job or performance there is nothing they can do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
My WW met this bozo on the internet finally got the nerves up to meet him in person and it has been on going since jan of this year. WW has moved out to a apt. a mo. ago next week.
WW still saying she loves me wants to see a future with me and my kids, but the clincher is "not right now though". I start to talk to her about what she needs to do NC with Om to get us out of the gate for reconcilliation and she usually gives me the reponse i don't want to talk about this right now, or I just don't know where things are going with him...blah, blah,blah.
I told WW i don't think you know what life you are asking for. Tell her OM will be out to sea for 6mo. in ports for anylength of times. Something WW not used to. I am civilian as well as her. I try to tell her it is a whole different ball game but she doesn't seem to listen or at least indicates to me that she is.
She still in a fog with OM but afraid to lose me.
Still likes the idea that she can play house with him. He presently has his crap in my wife apt. although he probably at least that i am aware of has been there a handful of times. WW and i both agreed that he is not to be in house while she has kids for the week. So far she been compliant with this.
I tired of trying to fight her. The ball is in her court now, i think after this i am just going to stop beating myself up trying to find ways to get her to see the realistic side of all this. Hopefully in time she will come out of this fog and see things for the way they are.
jets

Jets,

Keep trying to call her. You're right that you have nothing to lose at this point.

If you get the machine, can you leave a message? All you need to say is I'm so-and-so and I need to talk to you about something very important to both of us.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Don't know if it will help my sit. out anyways.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You have nothing to lose by calling her, but lots to gain. Keep trying Jets.

KY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I agree Jets. I know you're tired but don't give up tightening the noose yet. It is very dissapointing that you weren't able to get more help from JAG. Just think if they actually held their personnel to accountablity in this area; what a deterrent it could pose. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> You keep at it Jets, call her again. Don't forget to point her to MB even if they are in the divorce process for real. It may help her heal, you never know.

Well i tried to expose the OM to the Jag ofc.
and was basically shut down.
You dod oinform them that he is still married and he is having an affair with a married woman, correct?
Call your local congressman (no, I'm not joking. Congress just LOVES doing inquiries into the military) and let them know the Navy is not interested that a married senior chief is having an affair with a married woman. I will guarantee it will get loooked into.

You also need to tell his wife immmediately.

Jets...

E-8, shmeight! The Judge Advocate General's office will do squat (as you've already found out)! Find out the name and number of this guy's XO (Executive Officer) and let him what's going on. Forget about the CO (Commanding Officer), DO (Division Officer), Chaplain, whatever...let the XO know that he's got a married E-8 having an affair with a married civilian.

This is VERY MUCH a concern with so many service people deployed oversees at this time. Both NAVMILPERSCOM & both CINCPAC and CINCLANT have been tasked to "press" that these assignations be curtailed.

I second Chris's advice. If you stub your toe on a military base and notify your congressman, the military will jump all sorts of hoops to kiss your toe and make it better, remove the object you stubbed your toe on, and they'll release safety bulletins advising on how to reduce the dangers of toe stubbing.

If you're feeling nice, you could notify his command that your congressman will be contacted if they don't show results immediately. But I don't feel that this warning is necessary.

Do have all of your ducks in a row before you contact your congressman. Have everything lined up so that you can show what actions you've taken to resolve the issue. That adds weight.

Jets -

I'm with Ron and everyone else on this. My H is military so I have an idea of what you are dealing with. My H is Army and the Army is different then the Navy on this subject but not by much.

If the JAG office and the XO...or ABCO (whoever) won't listen to you go public. I wanted to go public with my story but other tactics ended the A before I went that far. If you do decide to raise a stink use the media. Start with your local news. Mention how differently things would be treated right now if the gender roles were reversed....what if you W was the military person? How would the Navy treat her...remember the scandal a few years back with the Navy pilot? She was treated very harshly.

I think it will wake your wife up from the fog and you said it yourself...you have nothing to lose at this point. Who knows maybe it'll help someone else on down the road.

I wish you luck.

As someone who was part of the chain of command, I can tell you I would not be happy to be blindsided by "A congressional"

If you have a problem and haven't brought it to me, so the first time I hear about it is when a congressional comes down the pipe, you probably will not get MY best effort.

I personally believe blindsiding someone is the WRONG way to go. The congressional is the right route AFTER the chain of command has not responded as you see fit.

Calling your congressman because you stub your toe just distracts these folks from real problems. Try to use the system first, and if the system fails, THEN escalate.

Just my $0.02 as someone who has been blindsided by a congressional from soliders who never said boo, never came to my office, never even wrote an anonymous note.

TB
- not a big fan of the congressional blindside

thanks for the responses folks,
Update i am not sure you are aware of. I spoke with OMW told me a whole different side of this scumbag, serial cheater, alcholic,angermanagement problem, 2 dui's that she couldn't figure out how was never seen by his command and host of other problems. Omw set for divorce sometime this mo. after 18years of puttting up with him she has had it.
Relayed this all to WW last night, she shock and stunned to say the least. I tried not to love bust and for the most part i didn't. Basically alot of my anger was directed towards the scumbag, told WW i was telling her these things because i love her and i am worried for her well being and safety. BAsically said ball is in your court now. If you choose him, i will not be a part of your life anymore. If you chooses me there are certain boundaries she has to meet.
I repeated pretty much what i have been telling her all along.
Even through this she was still somewhat defending this loser. Kept asking me what good would it do to report him to his command, told her to prevent this from happening again to another marriage.
I got the name of this loser ship and ph# to quarterdeck and was advised by OMW to talk with the Master chief commander. She advised she wasn't sure how good it would do though, but it is a start. OMw was kind of amused that all this crap is going to come back to him full circle.
jets

java,

Perhaps I wasn't clear. I wasn't certain exactly who had been contacted in his chain of command. My point is that if they're aware that there's a problem and they choose to support that behavior by refusing to act, that informing them before the congressional was a courtesy. It stinks if the only way they care is if they're forced to.

And yeah, I've seen some ridiculous stuff come to attention due to a congressional inquiry. Hence my toe stubbing analogy.

Dobie

java,
As someone who was part of the chain of command, I can tell you I would not be happy to be blindsided by "A congressional"
Okay, but jets and his wife are NOT military. They don't know the "chain of command" routine.
He called the base legal office and they told him tough cookies.
Since he is a civilian, he can NOT be expected to follow military protocol/courtesy, for the simple fact that he does not know what it is.

If you have a problem and haven't brought it to me
In this instance, it would be the JAG who failed to notify you that someone has a problem.
The civilian has no idea what the "chain of command" is.