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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 14 |
I saw a counsellor, who strongly feels I need medications to control my anxiety. See my posts on Just Found Out. She recommended a book called Should I Stay or Go. I looked it up and it is about controlled separation. In no way do I want separation. Does that mean that she is not pro-M? I was looking for support for my staying. I needed her to tell me that I was doing the right thing. I love my WH more than anything in the world and want things to work out, not someone to tell me that a separation might be in order. I am still so nervous about him being in the same town as OW right now I can hardly see straight. He is in the Navy and had to go to Canada, where he met her in the first place..... Oy... Can anyone look at my posts on JFO and give me some insight? I didn't get much response over there.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
ama, do you have access to the computer he uses?
I agree with you about separation. Separation only increases your chances of divorce. Especially when done before you have had a chance to correct the conditions in your marriage [if any] that led to the affair in the first place.
It is a risky move at best, even when you have done a good Plan A. If I were you, I would read Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley and try his principles before you do something as drastic as separating.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Okay ama - you need to settle down. Read about Plan A here. That is the plan to start with. It is completely miserable when you just find out. But it does get better.
Marriagebuilders recommends Plan A and not a controlled separation. Your husband sounds like a cake eater. Please stay in Plan A, and calm down. Chances are good that your husband will want to stay with you.
As far as him seeing OW, you can't have control over that right now. He may still be in the fantasy period.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424
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Member
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,424 |
Hey lady. Been wondering about how you were doing today.
Take the ADs and make certain you read up on the possible side effects and all that. I think they'll probably help you.
I haven't read the book, so I can't say anything about it. If it's talking about physically separating, I'm against it. But if it advises you to take a step back and take care of yourself for a bit, I'm all for that.
When are you supposed to be getting SAA in? I think it'll make a lot of sense. There's also a great book called After the Affair that helped me. The author's name is slipping my mind at the moment.
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