Some of you may know my story, if not, in a nutshell...

WW left to be with OM in Jul 03. She returned several times, only to go back again. The last attempt at coming back was after our DV court date and she asked me to pull the paperwork--she wanted to work things out. Again, she left to go back to OM. Now we are waiting once again for a court date...

I have been pretty much dark since that time. Now, however, WW has kicked OM out. She, I guess, has seen the 'awesome' person he really is. Can't keep a job, a womanizer, dead-beat dad, alcoholic, and the list goes on...

I still have feelings for my WW, but, like I said, I've been pretty dark for the last few months. In saying that, she has been dark also. I have no idea what her thoughts for the future are. She has not attempted any contact with me.

What I'm wondering is is if she has any feelings for me, or if any feelings for me may come back after going through withdrawels from the OM. I know they say the hardest part is the first month or so. Well, she is going on vacaction with our 2 Ds over the Thanksgiving holiday. They will be gone for 2 weeks. I'm hoping some memories of us will creep back in. I was wondering if there are any WWs/FWWs out there that maybe have been through this already, and what you felt. Do I have any hope of her getting 'feelings' back for me at this point in the situation?

My WW has said some pretty bad things to me during the time we've been separated. The biggest thing that bothers me is she said she never loved me... I'm wondering if this is semi-true or not.. Any advice/encouragement/information would be appreciated... Thanks for listening...

My WH who is still in fogland told me he never loved me. News to me. Hmmmmmmmmm awful funny how he didn't realize that until he found someone else that he started falling for. He said he stayed with me for 7 years thinking he could grow to love me.

I don't believe any of that BS. I know how he treated me and how I felt when he truly loved me and everyone around could tell how much he loved me. Sometimes they just can't believe they could have done something so hurtful so the other way they can justify it to themselves and everyone else is to say they never loved you.

ForeverChanging, wow, that is almost exactly what my WW told me. She said she felt obligated because she didn't want to hurt me, that's why she married me. She never loved me though... I still don't understand her logic. I asked her about the 7000 times she told me she loved me and she said, it was different, not love, she cared but never "loved" me...

.bump.

.bump.

Lost,

I'm a WW. Our DD was in May of this year. It brought me much heartbreak, as I wasn't the one to end it. I was convinced up until that day that I loved both people. Your question is "did my feelings for my husband come back after the affair/OM was gone?" (in my case it was a OW, btw), and, the answer is: sort of.

I don't think I ever stopped loving my H. I lost interest in him. For the past 6 months I was in the "fog". I love him, but my DESIRE for him isn't back yet, no. I'm trying. I'm going through some of the motions until I feel "back to normal" with him, and I'm waiting for that day to happen. I'll keep on trying. I just hope I didn't mess up things with him.

Hope you get the answers you're looking for. I'm sorry you're going through this.

CC

Don't believe what your WS is saying while "in the fog". They all say that "I'm not in love with you" and "I never loved you crap". My FWH who said the exact same things. He brought me a card yesterday that says;

"FOR ALL THE TIMES, I LET IT GO UNSAID" (on the outside of the card)

"I LOVE YOU" (on the inside the card)

It's been a long, hard road here, though. It has taken a full year of recovery and NC with her.

TIME AND PATIENCE!!!!

if it is encouragement you want, i can give you that.

yes my feelings came back for my H and then some.

during the A their were times i thought that i never must of loved my H, thankfully, i don't think i ever said that to him, but i internally wondered. truthfully my doubt was more based on me and my ability to truely love anyone more than based on my H in particular.

ConfusedCheater, mimi1254 and FinallyLearning, thank you for sharing with me. I hope one day my WW will eventually remember or regain her feelings for me. When she said she never loved me, that kinda cut like a knife. I've read a lot of stories on here where the WS either said they didn't love their spouse anymore or loved them but was not in love with them, but not many that actually said they never loved them. Its hard hearing that but its even harder when they never come back and say they didn't mean it...

I guess I have a little hope left, but I'm not counting on anything at this point... Thanks for the support....

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My Ds left yesterday to spend Thanksgiving with their mom and grandma. The house seems really quiet...

I found out yesterday that my WW changed all the locks on her house. I guess when she kicked OM out it was for good. She doesn't trust him apparently or why would she change the locks?

I have no idea what her plans for the future are. She has not contacted me at all. I'm hoping that spending time with our Ds will help her remember all the times we went on vacation together and all the Thanksgivings we shared. I don't know, maybe I'm holding on to hope for no reason...

I've got a lot of homework to do, so having a break from the kids is kinda nice. But, I know this house always feels empty when they are gone. Its only for 10 days, I'm sure I'll get through...

lost-without-her,

I just wanted to wish you luck. I know that the holidays are very trying to begin with. Are you spending Thanksgiving with anyone? I'm sorry that you're missing your kids.

I hope that your pain subsides and that you get the answers you're hoping for. I wish you well, and Happy Thanksgiving.

CC

ConfusedCheater, thanks for the reply. I am planning on going over to some friends house on Thanksgiving. This will be the first time in I didn't host at my house. I'm in the military and we usually invite some of the younger troops over that can't be at home during the holidays. It seems a little weird not doing that this year...

I'm sure I'll survive the holidays. Right now I'm in a military class and it keeps me pretty busy. So, I have this as my first priority right now and it keeps my mind off of other things. I'm looking forward to getting this class over with and then I can get back to a normal schedule... Thanks for listening...