It has been 4 and a half months since I found out about the A my H was having. He still won't talk about it, and I have talked with OW as she was my best friend. I told him this morning that at some point he is going to have to talk to me about it. He says that he didn't do the things that she says, so I told him that he hasn't told me what he did do either. Needless to say he was pretty angry about it. There are times that I feel like we are getting somewhere but alot of times I suspect that he is still having contact with her. She says they aren't though and that she will tell me if there is contact but I don't think she would, she wouldn't tell me when we were supposed to be friends, so why would she want to tell me now?

Hi Jennie.....

I've been following your posts.

I'm replying to this one, because from my own experience, I know what you are going thru.

My WH still has not told me ANYTHING about his A. I know who the OW is because some anonymous person called me at work one day and told me.

Even if I ask something, he will skirt around the issue, and never really say anything. D-Day was six months ago.

Don't ask WH or OW questions about their A. They are both liars, and will only say what "comes to mind" to keep them "out of trouble", so to speak.

In fact, I wouldn't talk to OW at all. She used to be your best friend. Best friends don't do this kind of thing (have an A with their best friends' H). When she did that, she went from being your best friend, to being your worst enemy.

And until you are truly in recovery, don't expect to hear anything but lies from your WH.

Besides all of that, you must decide how much you really want to know of the A, and just exactly what you can live with.

Stay strong. Work on YOURSELF. PLAN A!!!

K

I am doing alot of nice things for my H but am getting tired too. She will never be my friend again, and I have expressed this to her. The thing that bothers me the most is that everything is still a secret between she and my H. I don't think we can go any further until there is a base of honesty to build on from here.