Okay woke up this morning and found a plateful of cookies on top of the cabinets- asked H where they came from, he said that some girl from his work brought them in for people... if they are for the workers, how did he end up with his own plate wrapped up? Why did he bring them home and not share them at work? Not sure what I think of that one... As that is one thing another girl at his old work did that liked him...

Also today I was at Hallmark getting a baptism gift for my niece and the sales clerk was asking about the name on the gold card- the card is my Husbands but they screwed up the name. I gave her the information she wanted. She gets all excited- that she knows just who my H is, that he comes in with 2 little boys (third at school) to shop often- claiming that he was in just two weeks ago buying cards. I was there two weeks ago to buy cards, but she swears that he was too- she said she hopes she was not ruining a surprise(I have not recieved a card- yet). Also that I must have the most thoughtful H with what he buys from there. Granted I collect Snowbabies and when ever he thinks he is in the doghouse or for a birthday, anniversary or holiday I get at least one...

I asked H about both things, and he played off the cookies, and denied the Halmark.. says that I am just paranoid and that I need to trust him.

Am I paranoid of in a bad case of denial?

<small>[ November 18, 2004, 09:08 PM: Message edited by: Love comes first ]</small>

pumping <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
H is due home soon and we are to talk about the letter I left him earlier this week stateing my boundaries, and I want to know if I have the leg to stand on here with this like I think I do. Or if it is all innocent enough and I am making a mountain out of a mole hill.

Look my mom was suspisious of my dad and guess what she was right...confront ur h!

I have confronted him. A womens intuition is usually correct. It was for me about his A.

I want to warn you- you are quite young, and are dealing with a lot at your home already with your mothers health and your fathers betrayal. I am glad you are seeking support, I am just concerned that you will learn more then you need to here at this site. You are still innocent and already have trust issues- this place will make you run for the hills. Just think about it. I would hate to make things worse for you.

bump- h thinks I am paranoid- I do not think so- what do you all think?

Your H doesn't think you are paranoid.

Your H wants YOU to think you are paranoid.

Unless he is stock piling for all the times he thinks he might be in the "dog house" for the next 2 years, I'd take what the Hallmark lady said to heart. How could she describe him so well if she didn't know who he was? That's a no brainer.

Your H is so transparent.

Have you ever bothered to ask him why he keeps the OW's # in his cell phone? I mean....if there is no contact then why does he need her #.

Come on KMEJ...these are small pieces to a bigger puzzle.

You already have ample reason to be suspicious of this man.

The time has come for you to be firm. You said you gave him a year to make changes. Well...that year is almost up. Tell him firmly - tonight - that unless he makes SPECIFIC changes in his approach to you and your marriage, you will consider ALL of your options at the end of March.

Have a list of five things he needs to do prepared. The ball will be in his court, then. He'll know you are serious.

i firmly believe god shows us what we need to know.......i think this is one of those times.....im sorry.

i firmly believe god shows us what we need to know.......i think this is one of those times.....im sorry.

I have asked him why if he is in NC he keeps her number, he has said that it is all he has left of her, and that he does not see an issue. He said he gave her up for me, that should be enough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

AndrewA- I gave him my list of requirements, do I come up with 5 more? Or are you referring to 5 things I see that needs to improve?

Also I went on-line to check our Visa bill to see what was charged and the passwords were changed. I have not asked him the new passwords, wonder if he will tell me. If not I will just go the old fashion way and pull the old ones from the file cabinet. Would he be that dumb to charge stuff for her or if he is buying stuff for her is he just using cash? I wonder-

KMEJ,

If it's a joint Visa bill..just call up and ask them to send you another one. The passwords won't be an issue.

If you want to use the list of changes you have already given him, that's fine.

The key is that you need to tell him that he has until the end of march...and then you will consider all of yoru options, including divorce.

I have a card but the account is in his name, do I still have access?