these past few weeks i have been rather pre-occupied, i suspect if you are reading this (which means you are one of my MB friends) you are fully aware as to why i have been so pre-occupied.

for this reason, and because i was trying to aliviate my H's concerns about posting here, i have not kept up with some of you, at least not to the extent of posting back.

so i just wanted to send out a blanket HI to you all. fortunately there are enough of us here and the fluctuation of one poster does not impact the overall board. i know this. but i wanted to let you all know anyway, how much i not only appreciate the impact you have had on my life but that i very deeply care about all of you.

i am tempted to list you all out but i know i will end up missing so many. but i'll give it a go anyway, in no particular order <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

robby, you are in my thoughts, i cannot even think of trying to keep up with idiotville but i have noticed a change in your sig line and i recall that early Nov was when a physical split of you and your W was scheduled to happen. did that happen? i am hoping not, i am hoping some recovery action is occuring. i would love to hear an update from you either way.

liny and brown, i am really sorry brown about the additional pain you have recently gone thru. liny, what can i say, i didn't get my act together on the first try either. keep working at it.

dipti (mom), you hanging in there??? i think you still have that house guest hanging around, right? for the record, he needs to leave.

niosgirl (kimmy, right? and you have multiple names, right??) anyway, your spirit is very cool. i'm sorry about the battle with your family. i can relate. hang in there.

RIF, your support lately has been so wonderful, thank you.

rose, i think of you often, i know we stopped talking about the book, breaking free, i am still reading it at times, how about you?

ok, i have to go to exercise classs soon and there are so many of you to say hi too.

spiderslayer, wakingup, jetgirl, 2scard, JL(of course you are always up there! i can never thank you enough for the impact you personally had on me)... i'm drawing a blank now...

roman, i have no idea if you are lurking. i miss your posts although sometimes i go back and read old ones anyway. i hope all is well with you and your wife. you also had a major impact on me.

pep, OMG i almost forgot you! which of course i never really can do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> i wasn't sure if i was going to like you at first, i was very wrong, you are wonderful.

speaking of not sure if i was going to like someone, TMCM, HI <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

ok, i'm going to miss my class if i don't stop!!! i'll have to figure out who i missed and add to this list.

thanks everyone. love to you all, Karen

oh wait, autumday and dreamcatcher, well you guys know i love you both <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

pam (rap) and mark (ncwalker) we miss you guys.

<small>[ November 29, 2004, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: FinallyLearning ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FinallyLearning:
speaking of not sure if i was going to like someone, TMCM, HI <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I resemble that remark. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Your post has an upbeat feel to it and I hope that it is because things are getting better between you and your H. Remember that just as it is not healthy to dwell too much on the past, it is equally unhealthy to dwell too much on the future. Celebrate the little daily victories in your lives and one day both of you will celebrate the biggest victory of all, the marriage you always dreamed of.

Have a great weekend FL.

TMCM

Love to you FL (((FL)))

Yep. Changed my name....didn't and can't let myself feel too "niosgirl" for right now. Thank you for your shout out, tho!

- Kimmy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FinallyLearning:
<strong>

RIF, your support lately has been so wonderful, thank you.

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I second TMCM's assessment that you do sound more chipper!

Remember, Feelings are just feelings... focus on the FACTS!

Hope you and your H have a great weekend!

Semper Fi,
RIF90

bumping up to be sure everyone sees!!

SadFWW and BlessedTime, sorry i missed listing you two in my original post. you are both wonderful too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">pep, OMG i almost forgot you! which of course i never really can do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> i wasn't sure if i was going to like you at first, i was very wrong, you are wonderful.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FL.... What is really important ... do you like/love yourself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Here is a saying that amuses me:

"What you think about me is none of my business."

That's me in a nutshell <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Please love yourself.

Pep

i do pep.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by FinallyLearning:
<strong> i do pep. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">excellent

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

{{FL}}
Thanks for the hi. Wanted to know how you were doing, but still a little shy about posting after last time: Just like with brown, need to build and regain my trust here too.

Quick update: been almost two weeks no gambling; lots of deposits; lots of honesty and communicating; I think I'm starting to regain some trust--nothing more to lie about; we're both starting to be more optimistic about *us* again.

We will continue to pray for you. It's an awful lot for our FBS' to digest and understand and--well, you know what I'm saying.

Hang in there, K?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">robby, you are in my thoughts, i cannot even think of trying to keep up with idiotville but i have noticed a change in your sig line and i recall that early Nov was when a physical split of you and your W was scheduled to happen. did that happen? i am hoping not, i am hoping some recovery action is occuring. i would love to hear an update from you either way.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">FL-

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you asking about me. Thank you! Unfortunately my W did move out two weeks ago. We have a lot of contact due to S and I have not given up hope. It's an extraordinarily stressful situation, however, since neither of us gets to see S every morning or every night. We still seem to be in limbo, not working toward recovery or moving toward divorce, but W says we will "probably" D.

I still follow your sit and hope things continue to improve for you and your H.

Thanks again! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

FL,

I know I have never posted to you, but wanted to just thank you for being an inspiration to me. I withheld my A from my FWH for over 7 years. Your painful confessions to your H really touched me. You were one of the reasons that I knew this was going to come out and I respect the way you dealt with it. I wish I had the strenght and integrity that you obviously have.

Best wishes to you and for your continued healing.

FL:

Hey, I wasn't on your list! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The love you needed is finally yours. YOURS! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

-ol' 2long

HI 2LONG!!! well, you are right, you should of been!!! so should walkingoneggs and graycloud for that matter and i know i am still missing so many people. like recoveryingHusband and OnlyWords. i also often think of ericn and wonder how things worked out for them. and someone who's name includes coach who talked about how his WW had an A with a friend and gave me lots of insight. and bob pure also for giving me so much insight. the list could go on and on.

FF, Hi. thanks for your encouragement and best wishes. i just read your story. Sounds like you are in for some very painful times still BUT at least it is all out there now, right?? that has got to feel good. please do not measure yourself to me. i am glad i was the one that was able to tell H everything but there was ALOT of it and during so many different times of our relationship. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

the good news is, everyday can be a new beginning and it sounds like a very open and honest new beginning is starting for you and your H. Best wishes to you too.

Hi FL,

I still think about you and pray for you. The _Breaking Free_ book is lying around my house somewhere. I cleaned house and can't find anything!

Things are going pretty well in my M. We went to a party the other night, and my H stayed with me the whole evening and paid a lot of attention to me. I can't remember him ever doing that at a social event before! We had a really good time.

Today he asked me if I am in contact with FOM! (I'M NOT!) He hadn't asked me that in over a year. He said he was feeling insecure, but also said that I hadn't done anything lately to make him feel that way. I wrote him a "Valentine" card for Thanksgiving, and gave it to him. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Out-of-town guests are arriving any minute for the holidays. Hope you have a peaceful Thanksgiving.

God bless,

Rose

<small>[ November 22, 2004, 03:27 PM: Message edited by: Rose55 ]</small>

FinallyLearning: Congratulations on confessing to your H. That was so hard for you, but I believe that it has helped to make you a better person. I don't think I've really helped you very much, but thanks for the kind words. To be able to read your posts and watch your growth has been amazing. It's never easy. But this board truly is a godsend. Good luck and best wishes, my prayers will continue to go out for you and your family.

Hi FL,
Well, it took a post from you to bring me out of lurking....
I've missed posting here.I have been reading every other day-ish. I'm glad you came back! thankyou for mentioning me before...it made me smile.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{FL}}}}}}}}}}}}

Huge squeeze from me!!!

Loves to you, sister!

FL, great to hear from you again. I also noticed the "sound" of your post. You seem to be coming from a very good place right now.

I am so impressed/relieved/happy you are finally free through the power of TRUTH!!!

Spidey

FL - Thanks for the "validation". LINY is really trying and hopefully seeing what's happened here. I do have alot to work through, but I mainly want the "fear" to go away. I hope learning to trust again will help that. We have had such a "life" together in 11 years - we can't just walk away from that (and I don't think either one of us really wants to walk away).

Like, LINY just said (via telephone) - it's still early and we have alot to do.

Peace be with you - keep it real and honest, okay? It really is true the truth will set you free (and it's less work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> )

Keep posting

Brown

<small>[ November 22, 2004, 08:45 PM: Message edited by: brown ]</small>

recovering_h, it's not that you posted to me directly but i have read a lot of what you have posted. you are onlyword's H right??

hey jetgirl, glad you smiled, how come you are not posting? how are you doing?

Dipti!!! hugs back at you. i know today was a tough day, i hope you are doing ok.

SS, i was in a very upbeat mood on friday, this is true, and i'm trying to hang on to it. the weekend brought me down some, i seem to be able to do no right in H's eye's sometimes. if i am too happy, he thinks i don't care, if i am blue, i annoy him. ugh!!! i know i should not complain. we are supposed to be taking the week off from any heavy talking, H's idea. which i thought was a good one, but i fear this may mean he is going to be taking a week off from me completely. if that is what he needs, so be it. i will not die from lack of attention of one week's time, i know this. but i still don't like it. seems like i would rather even get negative attention than no attention.

so far i've just been eating too much. i need to stop that. i've been doing so well with exercising. i decided today that i am eating because i feel i need something, the thing is food is the last thing i need!!! my plan is to reach out to God, read spiritual books, reach out to friends, well, more accurately you guys! take it just one day at a time.