I need to vent a little to myself and look to you all for some support. I dont know what Im doing with my W. I cant seem to get ahold of the Plan A thing or something, Im trying so hard to not LB but I find myself doing it all the time, I dont have the money for the books Ive seen suggested, but I was able to get "love busters" so far.
My W told me this morning that being with the OM has made her the happiest shes been in a long time, that is a very big pill to swallow for me. How do you all keep plan Aing when your WS is living with the OP? Please tell me, I need to figure it out.

When she is here all I want to talk about is us and what went wrong and how things would be different blah blah blah, it seems that all that does is bring up the past, how I wasnt there for her even though I was only 10 ft away, how her favorite time of the day was bedtime so we could snuggle, and I stayed up. How she dreaded coming home from work because she knew it was going to be the same old same old, go nowhere, do nothing, be by herself then bed, she said it was like the movie "groundhog day".

Can anyone point me in the direction of a good plan A? and maybe some inspiration for some very dire situations that made it through?

I am my own worst enemy right now, I cant seem to get past her being at the OMs house, sleeping in his bed, and her telling me she dreams of me every night. I can picture them snuggling up together, she tells me they are not sleeping together because she doesnt want that clouding her judgement, and that she sleeps in bed with him because its "nice", I dont see how that isnt clouding her judgement, she says its because shes strong and can make her mind work like that. I dont know right now, I am feeling so hopeless about us right now. I NEED HELP!!! She also said that because of how I treated her, I deserve what I am going through, does anyone else think that neglect and not showing affection make the WS feel like the BS does when this is happening? I dont think I deserve this much pain, I dont think anyone does.

I had a weak moment last night that I called her at the OMs house and told her I needed to see her, to talk to her, that I loved her and this was killing me, of course all that did was make her mad as hell, why do I do those things????? Why cant I just leave it alone and do my best Plan A??? Sorry this got to be so long....