Today has been rough. I have been fighting thoughts of my wife’s affair out of my mind. My problem is that I have a good imagination and I have a lot of knowledge on the affair. All of these thoughts of how it began and any other scenario a person could think up. We are trying to save our marriage and our family. Does anyone have any ideas or success stories on how I can put the affair out of my mind and get rid of these thoughts? These days are hard and I want to get these thoughts out of my head.

hurt3,

This is a normal part of the healing process but if you find yourself not able to function with your daily activities then I suggest that you go see your doctor and have him/her check you out for any signs of clinical depression. If he/she determines that you do have depression, then he/she can prescribe Anti-Depressants to help aleviate it.

Talk with your W and explain to her how your imagination is feeding your insecurities and how it would help you if she shared with you what were her thoughts and feelings before, during and after the times she and the OM were intimate. There's a good chance that your W, like most WWs, will emphasize that what made the sex exciting with the OM was not his size or techniques but the feelings or emotions he helped unleashed in her at the time of her affair.

Remember that an affair has very little to do with the BS than it does with the WS.