WH seems to think that being around OW kids is peachy. Says she wants to meet our kids. Apparently her kids are much the same ages as ours. She has no problems bring a married man into their lives. I feel this is a horrible, tacky thing to do. That kids should be left out of things like this. Am I too sensitive? I don't want them around her for a long time.

Any advice?

Carol

It is absolutely unacceptable for your WH to involve your children in his affair.

I am assuming the kids are with YOU as you say elsewhere that WH can't be bothered to spend much time with them right?

You must set a very firm boundary that your WH will not allow OW to meet your kids NOR should they have happy family games with her children.

You must tell him this is unacceptable. I do not know the law in your state but take out an injunction against him so doing if he insists and it is possible.

My own FWW planned to take my kids to meet OM, but my discovery of the affair stopped it. I told her I would see him dead before he spoke with my kids with a view to becoming their new 'dad'.I meant it. Still do.

All blessings.

Thanks. I am going to be definite about this boundary. I think it's sick that they think it's okay to parade this in front of HER kids. Extra thick fog, I guess

Nothing a WS or OP does should suprise ya , they are doing things to MAKE there fantasy more comfortable ..

OW sees nothing wrong with this cause her kids are involved with your WS .. SO this is a tool she is useing to say to him the kids will have fun and if ya goning to be with me the kids will one day be together anyway ....

MY H xow did this as well , unfortunately they where around her , I had no idea when he was having the A he would take son out to movies ect.. they so happened to BUMP into ow and child ..PUKE !

So before I knew it and unraveled everything they meet her ... BUT when he moved out I controlled that one more ,,, once my children where made aware of HER and her ROLE in DADS life they did not want to be around her ... Even though she was nice they NEVER have YOUR childrens best intrest at hand NEVER !!!!!

BOUNDERIES ,,, if D then well different story .

Nothing a WS or OP does should suprise ya , they are doing things to MAKE there fantasy more comfortable ..

OW sees nothing wrong with this cause her kids are involved with your WS .. SO this is a tool she is useing to say to him the kids will have fun and if ya goning to be with me the kids will one day be together anyway ....

MY H xow did this as well , unfortunately they where around her , I had no idea when he was having the A he would take son out to movies ect.. they so happened to BUMP into ow and child ..PUKE !

So before I knew it and unraveled everything they meet her ... BUT when he moved out I controlled that one more ,,, once my children where made aware of HER and her ROLE in DADS life they did not want to be around her ... Even though she was nice they NEVER have YOUR childrens best intrest at hand NEVER !!!!!

BOUNDERIES ,,, if D then well different story .

uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. Kids should not be exposed to the sleazy behavior of their parents lest you send them a mixed moral message. They won't learn right from wrong if they see their parents advocating immoral behavior. That is confusing to kids and causes great self doubt.

Kids sense that adultery is wrong, but when they see adults acting like wrong behavior is right, they start to feel like there must be something with them that they can't see what others can see.

I was exposed to my father's affairs over and over again when I was a little girl and I just figured I must be a stupid girl to not grasp that there is nothing wrong with meeting his various girlfriends at hotels or bars. It just seemed wrong to me but apparently I wasn't bright enough to see that it wasn't so I learned to doubt my conscience.

I think that many WS's try to drag innocent kids into their sleazebed in order to normalize the abnormal. Having the kids around brings an undeserved air of respectability. Don't let your H use your kids for this purpose. They should not be used to bring some respectability to the disrespectful.

<small>[ November 24, 2004, 04:14 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>