Last night I heard enough from WH to cut me to the quick. All the stuff WS say. They just fell in love. Can't help it. That they just talk to each other There's no sex involved. That they are both engineers and can talk together. (It's always work, work, work.) That they have been at her house WITH HER CHILDREN! (I find that particularly slimey.) That she wants to meet our kids. (Absolutely not!)
After a horrible, sleepless night of praying and thinking, I caught him in the bathroom and said I'd like a few words. First, I said that I'm really hurt and I won't know what he wants unless we talk. That it's better for everybody if we are rational. I wanted him to know that it's his house too. That I want him to come home at night. His children need to see him. That I won't call and bug him about where he is or when he's coming home. But that he needs to come home. It seems more hopeful to have him here. Better than not issue ultimatums and shut doors. After that I cried for an hour. When he saw me sobbing my heart out, I think he may have realized how much he's hurt me and what he's tearing apart.
I also attempted exposing him to his parents. They are out-of-town for T-day but I have been covering up this whole sordid mess when we've seen them and on the phone. The clues are there for those who look. I emailed the sympathic SIL where they are at. Explained what was going and asked that if it wasn't too much of a favor if she could let them read the email. Probably not the best technique but I had to do something.
WH is a person who has never had a lot of friends. Is it possible that part of this is mistaking friendship for love?
No more tears left...Maybe time will work its magic.
