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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315 |
i posted my story on " just found out" today, not much response there, was told to try here. it is 5 weeks since d day and i am completely clueless as to where this is going. please go over and read and let me know what you think. anybody? thank you for the help
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hi arjdad, sorry you find yourself here, but you are in the right place. I would suggest getting the book Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley to help you understand what is going on here and how to best handle it. Most bookstores have the book or you can order it from this website. However, it is hard to help you if you haven't read that book and understand the basics about adultery.
As far as sleeping together, I think it is REAL IMPORTANT for you get back in your bed. Now is not the time to draw away, but is the time to look for any opportunity for closeness.
Her withdrawal sounds pretty typical, but I think if you understand how to identify her needs and learn how to meet them, she may come out faster. Hang in there, it won't always be so bad.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 315 |
melodylane, thank you for the input, i slept in bed last night and it felt better. i know i need to stay as close as i can to her right now, it is just hard sometimes. i guess i need to be patient and not expect to much to fast. i am going to get his needs her needs tomorrow, and hopefully, she will fill out the questionaire with me so we can move forward. we have been getting along really well lately, but more like just friends and roommates and a parenting team. i think we need to reconnect as friends first, at least thats what our therapist tells us. thanks again for the encouragement, it helps. anybody else w/ any thoughts on the matter appreciated.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 690
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 690 |
You are in the right place for help and support. The vets here will advise you well and I suggest you listen to there words because they have all been there. we all have a diffrent situation but it all comes down to, we want to stop the A and save the M.. So read SAA and come up with a good Plan A and also have a plan B ready after you have set a time. I have not read your post and will go there next.. good luck and keep your chin up.
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