Hi,

Wanted to start a thread in an effort to help others see that often the BS gets the same group of questions or orders thrown to them by the WS as many other BS. Why? Because it comes from that dern A handbook. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> The course must be on the internet now since there are soooo many internet A's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Since this is MB, let's take that lemon and make some lemonade by give working responses to those foggy statements. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

So here goes the 1st question and order, then you all can add your comments or more questions/orders.

WS Question 1: Why do you still love me?

BS retort: Not sure if I really love you as you are. Let me get back to you.


WS Order 1: "I want you (BS) to get the divorce."

Response: 'What? Have you lost your mind? You are the one having the A. You go get it. BTW, make sure you get all the paperwork right and make sure you are meeting your financial, emotional and mental obligations for your family. Make sure the agreements are ones that will leave a smile on our faces.'

Ok, that's my contribution for the evening.

G'nite!
L.

WS: Why don't you move out while we are working on M ?

BS: If you think we can't work on M at home together, you could move out instead. I do beleive we can and we could get MC to help us out.

-rh-

WS: "Why can't we all be friends? OP is a really nice person."

BS: "I guess OP was very nice to YOU. But OP wasn't very nice and respectful to me. Friends don't cheat and lie."

Good one BH. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

L.

OW - Why didn't you tell me you were married when I asked?

MM - Because I knew if I told you I was married you would never go out with me.

OW - Didn't you think I would find out when we went down to get our marriage license that you were ALREADY married?

MM - I thought that by that time, you would be in love with me and see that I really am a good guy and it wouldn't matter, besides I would have gotten my divorce by then.

Three years later, after I broke off our engagement and then agreed to start over with him through dating and practicing the MB concepts then I find out he was cheating on me -

Message left on my answering machine -

I honestly believe I would always have been faithful to you if you would have made me feel sexy and loved. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

**Sorry Orchid, probably not what you were looking for but sometimes there be another side.

Not so much asked...as...

WS: It's not you, it's me.
BS: *confused look* "I agree", while kinda shaking yoru head up and down and then back and forth.

WS: I was too young when we married and I've always felt like something was missing.

BS: Yes, you were young. And yet you were able to commit 13 years of your life to the military when you were even younger. You think you suddenly made some anomalous bad decision to marry me even though we'd been dating 4 years? You said you were very happy at one time, but something was always missing? Which is it?

WS: I need to be alone for awhile.
BS: Then why do you need to date others?

WS: Statistics are all very well and good but my dad has been remarried for a long time now and so has my mom.
BS: Yes, your dad did well his 2nd time around. He obviously learned something and grew. It took your mom 4 times. Do you want to marry 4 times without ever trying to make it work out before you finally "get it"?

Ok..maybe not the appropriate responses from bh...but the ws elements are common: 1) need time alone 2) statistics don't apply to me 3) was never what it should be 4) Not being open about their feelings on the marriage (ie, not admitting you did not fulfill their EN's), taking the blame themselves, and therefore a)not giving you the chance to change and b)giving some general excuse that makes it seem like things cannot change so therefor, why try?

Ws: Om listens to me and cares

BS: And if you had come to me with a heavy heart I to would have listened

WS: Why do you love me still

Bs: Because we all make mistake and love does not bypass the ones we choose.

Ws: I never loved you

Bs: I have always loved you

Ws: Why can't you leave Om out of this, it's not his fault

Bs: Your right, But i'm commited to you and my family and this M


Not sure if these are any good but it's a sample of my daily life with the ww

WW: I never spied on you or had you followed!

ME: I never gave you a reason to.

<small>[ November 27, 2004, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Binder ]</small>

WW said, "I never loved you..."

BS remark, "what about the 7000 times you said I love you in the 17 years we've been married?"

After telling WS to go - leave....he replies:

WS - Just so you know, I was never going to leave you and #$$* was never going to leave #%*...

BS - You were never here for me as a husband to leave me.Step up and be a husband or go..

WS - I'm the best thing you are ever going to get...

BS - Thinks but doesn't LB - Oh, so the best I'll ever get is a WH who lies, cheats, ignores me, etc..It's that just great...maybe you need to look around and see that all you (WH) ever get is MW who lie, cheat, etc. to their BH - sorry, but I'd rather be alone than to end up w/another WH who does this to me again..too bad you just keep repeating life's mistakes..