First the letter to the heifer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> As I mentioned in my previous post I sent it certified and return recipt requested. She should get it today"HAPPY THANKSGIVING"- Please continue on past the heifer's letter to read my daughters letter of apprecation to me. She is the best child on this planet(well my planet anyway) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Mrs. .....,

This letter is being sent to inform you that your phone calls, interruption of phone calls and drive by and intrusion to my home has been considered as harassment. Just because you are having an affair and living with my husband does not give you the right to harass this family.

You are not a friend of our family and not welcomed on our property. Your recent acts have threatened the safety and wellbeing of our family.

The proper authorities have been informed. They suggested writing this letter first. It is therefore recommended you cease these harmful acts. If you continue to do so, appropriate action will be taken.

Sincerely,
Mrs. C...... ........ (A BIG Nod and Many Thanks to Orchid,Noodle and Penguin) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
************************************************* The Person I Most Admire

The person I most admire in my life would have to be my mother,. My mom has been through a lot in her thirty-seven year long life, and I admire her for still being vivacious and strong through it all. I suppose as being the child of my mother I would automatically look up to her for most things, but what makes my mother more special than most is how even through a life changing illness, and a painful divorce she is still trying to make her, and my life the best that it can be. For most normal people being bed ridden for six years, and then getting better only to find that you husband of seventeen years had been cheating on you with two other women would be enough to drive you clinically insane. But somehow even after all that my mom has managed to keep it all together and even try and better herself by re-entering college some eighteen odd years later, so that she can get her degree in art history and finally be able to be proud of who she is and what she does. All in all I think that my admiration for my mother has grown in these past few years, as have our relationship, and I say this with complete honesty and sincerity.
*************************************************
Me 37
H 39
DD 15
Married 17 yrs
Together 21
DD 6-15-04
Moved out- 7-15-04
Plan Aing as much as possible
Loving and caring as best I can for my daughter, who is the absolute BEST!!!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 10:33 AM: Message edited by: artstudent04 ]</small>

WOW! You have done a superb job of parenting mom!
Be proud!

Hi artstudent,

What a sweet letter your D wrote about you.I am sure that made you feel good.At least your D has one good parent to emulate in her future.

And the letter to the OW was good too.Straight to the point and factual.Hopefully the OW has half a brain to take heed.

And please don't disrespect heifer's by suggesting that they are anything like an OW. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

O

Dear artstudent,

Wow, what a letter. Both are nice. I fear you may inherit some of my wit which tends to have a sharp side 'every so often'. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Your daughter's letters was superb. Please give her a big hug for us. You and her are quite special people and deserve to be treated with dignity and grace.

As for the heifer, well the California cows are quite celeberties in CA. I personally think they are 2 cute 2 B compared to an OW. LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> In fact, any of God's creatures are better than an OW. But I certainly understand the need to put on another very descriptive character choice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

In my case, I used a rabbit, because while they are soft and fluffy (to the WS - <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ), this OW who at 44-46 claimed prego 3 times and all without proof! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> So I dubbed her PBR (psycho babble rabbit). Yours reminds me of her. Must be 1 in every culture. How scary.

Wonder if the animal kingdom has to deal with OPs? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Back to the original intent of this post.... you both did a great job. Keep up the good work. You are certainly worth it. Hope the WS comes to his senses.

BTW, did you send a copy to the police as well? When you do, I would include it with a copy of your daughter's letter (with her permission of course).

take care,
L.

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 10:50 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

Everyone should stop "busting" on the "other woman", remember SHE became the Other Woman because of your Man

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by jojo1932:
<strong> Everyone should stop "busting" on the "other woman", remember SHE became the Other Woman because of your Man </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">....and your point is? She also is bearing the OW title (scarlet letter A) because she chose to participate in an R with a MM.

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 04:00 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

JoJo -

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Everyone should stop "busting" on the "other woman", remember SHE became the Other Woman because of your Man
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, the WS is fully responsible for what he did, not because of the OW. The OW fully chose to commit the sin she did and deserves what ever is thrown her way, until she is sorry for what she did and is willing to make amends. Since she is stalking the W, I hardly think she sees anything wrong with sleeping with a M man.

I still don't think people get it, why should the man get away with the affair, and the OW take the blame and criticism???

I think that people who want to blame the OW don't understand the real issues with their own relationships, causing the Man to stray in the first place

No JoJo you don't get it. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. No one is suggesting that the man get away with the affair. The BS may be responsible for the conditions in the M pre-afair, but the BS did not cause their WS to stray. The WS and the OP choose all by themselves to committ adulty.

You need to read the concepts on this site before you keep replying to other peoples threads.

Conflicting data here JoJo

Your first post - the OM left you when his wife found out. Next thing I read that YOU did the exposing... What were you trying to do? Force his hand to commit to you? When you were committed to another?

Your inquiry/comment on this thread is beguiling.

Let's talk about YOU. The former-only-because-you-have-to-be-former OW and being fully responsible for YOUR actions. Not the OM. Not his wife. YOU.

Then you can pontificate.

I am taking my response to Jojo to another thread. I find it too difficult to disrespect this once fine thread from becoming a teaching tool for a WS/OW.

Com' on Jojo, I'll give you your own thread.

JMHO,
L.

UGH.Not ANOTHER one. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hello All,

First may I say wow! This issue is certainly not without controversy and comment some of which I sincerely appreciate and others, well.. May I respond to <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

"I think that people who want to blame the OW don't understand the real issues with their own relationships, causing the Man to stray in the first place."

Make no mistake I have no delusions with regard to any issues with my role in my marriage. Both myself and my daughter, see it,feel it and live it every single day. One of the only "positive" aspects of going through this ordeal. Is self examination and learning what I did, or did not contribute to my marriage and knowing that at least I am taking positive steps to correct my actions or lack there of. Now to "cause" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Did I cause my husband and the OW (who was also married and still is to take part in this A) NO,NO &NO! They(please take note of the word 'THEY')made this decision of their own volition. I will accept no responsibility for their actions. Nor will I accept the constant harrassment from this OW, and It is my sincere hope and prayer that any "OW" will understand that they are not entitled to such actions nor are "they" entitled to take part in a relationship that is not theirs for the taking, unfortunately this was not understood by this person. There was a commitment made,vows taken and a love shared for 17 years.
*************************************************

Me 37
H 39
Dearest Daughter 15
Married 17 yrs
Together 21
Discovery Day 6-15-04
Moved out- 7-15-04
Plan Aing as much as possible
Loving and caring as best I can for my daughter, who is the absolute BEST!!!!!!

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: artstudent04 ]</small>

KaylaAndy....I hear what you are saying...yes, the other man stayed with his wife....but he was not honest with her, either....

My "thread" is not beguiling...I have read over and over on this site that the one thing that is worse than the affair itself, is for the WS to lie to their spouse....and that is exactly what he was doing...

His wife and I had a long talk about the whole affair...and she was amazed at how much he had lied to her..when all she wanted was the truth so that she could begin to rebuild the marriage from her perspective. He was lying to her, just so he would not have to explain his actions....

He had lied to me in the beginning, telling me he was in the process of leaving his wife, etc. etc. blah blah (you know the story)...

So again, my point is, although I was at fault, for my actions, I don't think it is fair for the man to be absolved from all blame because there is another woman....he, in fact, helps create that situation, too.

I told his wife, after I found out how much he lied to me and her, that I would never want to have a relationship with such a selfish individual.