Anybody else like this? Sometimes, I just can't move. I'll sit at the computer and play solitaire for a long time. It's like all I can do. I can't concentrate on a book, can't clean, sew or barely keep a conversation going.

What are anybody else' coping techniques?

Carol,

Try not to push yourself too hard right now.You just found out about the A this *month.When I was in that early time,I could barely get out of bed and if I did,it was to go to the bathroom or to try and take a walk.I literally walked at a snails pace.I looked like I was stuck in glue.I was just SO depressed and in raw pain like I had acid poured all over me.It was just awful.

That will change though but in time.The same road I used to try and take walks on before I now run on even though I remember what it was like back then.If all you can do is sit on the couch or in front of the computer then do so,take it easy.

HOWEVER,at some point,you will need to re-enter life again and if you are still struggling with basic daily activities and eating and sleeping,it may be time to discuss AD's with your doc.I don't know if you are on them already but just in case you are not,think about it.

Besides walking outside,I also tried to clean the house,which I have always loved to do(weird I know),walk my dog,I took many long hot showers,talked a lot to people(family,MB,etc),anything I could muster just until I felt like I had more strength.Of course AD's helped me a lot too.Talking to my counselor and also just resting was good.

O

<small>[ November 26, 2004, 11:12 AM: Message edited by: Octobergirl ]</small>

HC

Going on long daily prayer walks with my dog. I'd basically drool and sob out my heart to God while my little Border collie had a great time fetching the ball in our park.

I also started working out at the gym. Its a great stress reliever and you don't need to be an athlete to feel the effect.

I gave up reading other than MC books as almost every one seemed to have an infidelity trigger in it.So I started doing crosswords.

And painting up the house - jobs I'd left for a while.

And going out with friends at least once per week.

All that helped me cope - and I wasn;t NEARLY as strong as you are HC, really. You are doing great !

Exercise your body, mind and spirit by training, puzzling and praying. It will all help you.

All blessings.

If I'm doing well, it's because I have so many supportive people around me. I have finally been able to eat a little. I've been surviving on tea, yoghurt, bread, potatoes and red wine. I still bolt awake several times a night and can't get back to sleep. I try to be strong for my kids. The day I did give myself permission to cry, I cried for 3 hours. My concentration is shot.

It's actually better now that my kids know. The pretending and secrecy were getting to me. We try to cushion each other. Try to do little nice things for each other and have lots of hugs. My daughter and I have been watching a lot of movies. We both hide in them.

I remember those early days and they were horrible. I was like a zombie at work, and couldn't eat or sleep.

I sat around miserable for a long time, but finally figured out that my WH was not going to do anything to make me feel better.

So I got busy, taking care of myself and doing things. I started exercising, cleaned the house spotless, rearranged, and removed every reminder of him while redecorating, organized, painted, detailed the car, went out with friends, started my own property management business, did the yard, and on and on.

I let everyone know that I was ready to go out and do things, and then started doing them.

As you do things that give you a sense of accomplishment, your self-esteem, and feeling of contentment will increase.