how long after dday and nc should i wait for the ww to be able to make a serious effort to try to rebuild. dday for us was oct.19 04 ,nc since then.

arjdad, how long is a piece of string ?

Diffrent for different folks is the unsatisfactory answer I am afraid.

Read Surviving an affair and the other Harley books for an understanding of the dynamics of affairs and study some of the cases on here for examples and indicators.

I can only offer an example from my own life.

My FWW ( Squid) was in NC for 3 weeks before affection returned, then she turned more and more towards rebuilding every day over the next two months until NOW, 4 months after D-day she is finally maing self-effacing, irreverable investment in our marriage recovery.

Know that a FWS must typically go through withdrawal before any readiness to recover is manifested. The length of withdrawal is typically linked ot the depth of emotion in the affair and teh duration of it.

I guess thats a very unsatisfying reply arjdad, sorry its the best I can do.

Know that once your WS is in NC all good things follow in accordance with your patience and consistancy and God's good will.

Be patient, you can win your WW back.

{{{arjdad}}}

Bob, thanks for the input, i guess i really already knew that, just trying to find some positives to help me thru. i will continue to be patient to the best of ma ability, because i know i still love her and will do whatever it takes to work this out. it is just hard over a long weekend like this, to much time to think about it. so i should not try to set a time limit, but back off a bit and wait for her to come around? she has told me she is willing to try,i just dont see much evidence yet. thanks for listening, john