W was just here and she told me she is moving out of the OMs house in 2 weeks when her father returns from hunting camp, she will be moving in with him, we had a good talk today, even tho she said she is "still not in love with me". I know better than to believe that she actually will move in with her dad, but it feels good for the moment, and if it does happen, even better.
I had plans to put up our Christmas tree this weekend, well she decided to come and get the tree today, when I told her how that made me feel, she said she wanted to have her tree for her daughter, still felt like crap, so I guess I go buy another one.\
I told her how I can understand she doesnt trust me, and how bad I made her feel for so long, and I was so sorry I did it, and that I thought it was very wrong for her to go outside of our M to try and fix it, but that I cared for her deeply and had already forgiven myself, and her, and I told her she needed to forgive herself and asked for her forgivness, she didnt give it to me, but I could see it in her eyes, I feel she was trying not to be weak.
I did LB some about her taking the tree, but I got ahold it fairly quickly and I think I saved it well, that was when I turned to the "how I felt about it", I planned to put up the tree to get some of that warmth in here, something to make her see safeness of home, now thats shot. On to the next thing.
When she walked out the door I just stood there watching her, I told her before she got to far that I loved her, and she said it back. She said she likes to hear me say that so no 2x4's please, unless you think I really need it <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I also asked her to open her heart and try to have faith in me and God, that this is his plan, we were to learn from it, nont sure what exactly yet, but I think I know what "I" needed to learn, and I feel I have.
She asked me to show her that things would be different, I told her I was, but it was up to her to see them. I gave her "Love Busters" to read as I just finished it last night, I dont think she will, shes not a book fan by a long shot, but I gave it to her anyway, maybe shell at least skim through and read the highlighted parts. Thats all I can hope for.
