Posted by dewt:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by MelodyLane:
<strong> I will repost my response to finger wagging Dewt who chastised MB members for "nasty, judgemental posts" [referring to me] after saying nothing about Jojo's very vicious attack: [anything goes when it is done by a WS, it seems]
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"It is better to hear the rebuke of the wise, than for a man to hear the song of fools." Ecc 7:5 The rebuke being found in the book of proverbs,
proverbs 15:1 "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger."and also
Ephesians 4:29-32 Ephesians 4:29-32
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." And I did think of addressing Jojo's very vicious attack, but then I thought that there wouldn't be much point to it. Same as I believe that telling a WS they are wrong is a fruitless excersise. If they need to be told, they won't take the telling. If they don't need to be told, then what's the point except to wave the flag of righteousness? Also, I didn't think you needed defending. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Also also, since you're an old timer and a respected source of wisdom, I just kinda expect more from you.
Also, I wasn't referring directly nor soley to you. I was making a generalized statement, aimed at the board in general. Those to whom my statement was addressed will either 'get it' or not 'get it'. (refer to above paragraph)
But, since I'm being called on this, I will speak plain. Yes, Melody Lane, I think you sometimes do damage with your indignant righteousness. Am I saying you are wrong? Nope. Do I think you should leave? Nope. Not by a long shot. I read your posts and I can almost NEVER disagree with what you are saying. What I'm saying, directly to you, is that you should temper your posts with a bit of understanding that sometimes being slapped with righteousness just leaves someone with the feeling that they've been slapped. And that can drive people away. And waywards are especially vulnerable to being driven away.
I'm not saying to molly coddle them, nor handle them with kid gloves. No no no. I'm saying handle them with an understanding that they are hurt and confused and should be treated in the manner that is best going to help them get back on track. And I think
that is more important than being right.
Now, granted I haven't read every post on every thread, but I have yet to see a BS get attacked for not mollycoddling a WS. Nor would I advise any betrayed to molly coddle their WS. I would advise a BS to avoid lovebusting with any disrespectful judgements, though. Same as I advise posters here. Avoid disrespectful judgements because wether the DJ is right or wrong, it's still a DJ and does not lead to the outcome that we want- which is to save marriages and preserve the unions that God has sanctified.
For the record, in no way shape or form do I condone 'romanticizing' any affairs. I just don't think that beating WS with righteous truth (however righteous) does any
good.
Also, for the record, as a BS I do NOT consider myself to be a victim.
And also, I'm not against truth, nor confronting a remorseless wayward. Nor am I against confronting a BS who strays from the path of healing. I just think we should be careful and understanding when we do it, and do it in such a way as to bring the person back on track. Not drive them further away from it.
Also, I really want to apologize if you felt personally attacked by my writings. That is not my intent. I am in no way, shape or form entitled to judge or attack anybody. (check my sig)
And since I've got my Bible out, I'd like to toss these out for perusal and thought provocation:
James 1:19-20 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. James 3:17-18 "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace." Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."Luke 6:37-38 "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again. 1 Peter 3:8-11 "Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous:
Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it." </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What an EXCELLENT post! It deserves to be re-posted. I especially like the collection of scriptures and links to the verses in Script. It serves as a reminder to us all. Thanks for sharing dewt! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
<small>[ November 29, 2004, 06:30 AM: Message edited by: Suzet* ]</small>
