Pep...First, I meant absolutely no disrespect to you in jojo's thread. Orchid did a very nice job of explaining me, and, I couldn't have said it better myself! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Anyway, it seems like to me Liny was trying to lighten things up a bit and not attack your reputation. You have a strong character and have been a good supporter to many.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This pretty much sums it up.


Pep, as silly as this sounds, when I posted that I had contact with OW after D-day and read your words you wrote to me, they hurt. They hurt because I built this comradarie with you, respected you, admired you. One problem. There was just this one lie in the way. For that, yes, I understand your anger, then your nonchalant attitude towards me. That's pep. BUT, I deserved it. All of the hurt I have caused in my M, my F, and even here. Like brown, I was deceiving everyone here. I understand that. And I certainly understand what you wrote.

For what it is worth, I do apologize if I hurt you as well. And for the post? Yes, I was trying to poke fun at me--and because I felt I betrayed you the most here, I felt you could have the first shot.

Also, for what it's worth, I have stopped gambling for, going on three weeks now. Haven't told a single lie about anything. And brown and I are doing a heck of a lot better, now that we can build a M around our strengths rather than all of my lies.

I am working on rebuilding the trust in my W. It's a difficult task, but making progress daily. I am taking the same attitude and plan here. (Why I've been hiding out in Idiotville.) This is why I don't post as much as I used to. I've lost the credibility that I "thought" I had. But, I thought in jojo's sit, I thought using my own experiences and the way that helped me to start thinking clearly might be able to help her. I'm beginning to start to feel comfortable with myself again and learning how to trust myself--something I don't think I've ever done in my life. With that comes confidence. And the confidence to see I might be able to make a difference with someone else.

So...I will refrain from referring to you or posting to you from here on in. I do want to thank you for the help you have provided me and again to say I am sorry.

LINY

I hope you do well in your life.

Pep

Pep,

I think Liny likes you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sent and meant in a very MB friendly way. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugz 2 u both,
L.

Pep,

I guess I wanted to add my $.02. I know LINY was not "honest" to anyone - to me, the MBer's, and mostly himself. I have had some time to sort a few things out and I have taken alot of caution in "recovery".

As you know this last action of my H hurt .... it hurt more than the intial D-day. I have had enough, believe me. I have been dealing with alot more than an EA for many years. The G has been enough, but then you add this A - I'm lucky if I'm still here (emotionally).

I asked my H to post to the boards about the continued contact. B/c I felt he was being a hypocrit - giving advice and helping people. He wasn't even helping himself at the time. I would not have posted my point of view in our situation if he didn't post his first. Why? B/c it wasn't up to me to confess anything and I did not have to clear my conscience and face the consequences of my actions. But I also asked him to post it b/c it may help someone else understand, what they have done and may be continuing to do if they say in contact w/ the OP. If there is anything I've learned from posting here at MBer's - it's that I'm not alone - there is someone out there that may help me w/ a kind word - I can help someone else - and *WE* can support each other and get the support *WE* need so much in our time of need. (And yes, even WS's have needs - let's face their thought process isn't working at the same speed as their BS - what do they call it Fog).

You may have also noticed that around the same time that LINY posted his confession, I also posted my point of view. I also bumped his original post up - so he could see what an [censored] he was and also to see how far he had come (and to see he still had alot of work to do in himself and our M).

Since this 2nd D-day. He has changed. He has gone to his IC. He's finally taking med's. He's stopped G (17 days - one day at a time). He's doing whatever it's takes to "re-build" our M and reassure me of these changes and he's backing them up with actions. (Giving my reciepts, letting me check out everything I need to check out [his wallet, briefcase, e-mail, cellphone, housephone bills], he's been accountable for his actions and his time and is finally showing "true" remorse).

I don't think this will make any difference to you (and why should it?). But I live with man - his actions have directly effected me and my family (the A and the G). I have been hurt by this man for far too long. I can reassure anyone I cannot and will not take anymore of the lies and hurt. (I know LINY knows that too). I know I want this M - but I will do whatever I have to if does not work out. My children and myself do come before my H. But I will be a supportive partner, wife, and friend to my FWH as he (and we) go through "recovery", because I know too well what he's going through (mentally and emotionally - I've been there when I had my NB and I'm "recovering" still).

I also wanted to say "thank you" to you. You were one of the first people on this site to help LINY to see what was going on then wasn't "right". And as a result he did make
strides towards re-building our M. Yes, he "back-slid" (most sinners do) - but you did help him and again thank you. You have helped me and been so supportive of my side of this too.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pepperband:
<strong> I hope you do well in your life.

Pep </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I hope he, we, I do - do well in *OUR" life.

Brown

Brown, I sit here and look at the computer screen, not a face. Therefore, all I have to go on are words I read and my past experience and some gut instinct.

I my real life work, I am pretty skilled at reading body language. I am very observant of small details in real life. I notice things. People fascinate me.

If I put forth effort and reach out to anyone on MB, I do it for my own reasons. It's fun. It's liberating in a sort of odd way. It's educational. It's emotional. I do this for my own growth. I share some of myself. Some of my time. Some of my emotional energy. It causes me to think, and I enjoy myself.... even the heated discussions.

I am not some sort of MB police officer. I am a member, equal to all other members.

Right now, I have no way of knowing if I am responding to "Brown" or to "LINY" using his wife's computer. I have no way of shielding myself from other falsehoods ... because I cannot "see" LINY.

My perception about LINY proved to be incorrect. I did not "see" LINY with accuracy. LINY is in my blind spot. Therefore I cannot tell sincerity from insincerity in our cyber conversations. I cannot decipher a joke (hit me with a 2X4 Pep) from a taunt. There is no point to my trying. All that is left is "Hi, how are you?" or other irrelevant small talk. And, what's the value of that? ... I mean what is the value of that FOR ME? I do not join "Idiotville" because it does not interest me. Sometimes I read it... but I realize there is nothing very challenging going on ... and I am simply not interested ... at this time.

I am not angry. I am simply, not interested in the level of discourse that I am now in a position to have with LINY (and HelenWheels too for that matter).

If this actually is Brown and not LINY I am responding to ... here's what you have and I lack. Brown sees LINY and hears his voice and watches his twitching leg or his raised eyebrow when he's circling the truth ... and Brown knows.

About 80% of my contact with LINY was born of a falsehood. I have no idea who he is. LINY is now a stranger to me ... because what I thought we had, the camaraderie we shared ... was not genuine.

If this were in "real life" I would have the tools to work with to repair any damage. But in cyber-land ... I just don't know what those tools are. Or if they exist.

Again, not angry ... just not interested in sharing myself after experiencing online deception. I know no protection other than ignoring or sticking with mundane small talk a'la "Idiotville".

And for anyone who thinks I am saying "Idiotville" is not worth your time... NO, I am saying that I am not interested. It does not fulfill my purpose for being here. That's all.

Pep