Generally, unless the circumstances prevent it, my WW still tries to hide the fact that she has seen the OM, or is with him right now, or has plans to be with him. In other words, she's embarrassed and/or guilty and/or ashamed and/or doesn't want to hurt me, and/or...?


Now to my question, which I can't figure out how to eloquently phrase, so I'll use an example...

With all these possible scenarios:

I call my WW, and it's obvious that she's with the OM.

I call her or she calls me, and the subject of, eg. last night, comes up in conversation. It's obvious to me that she spent the night with OM.

I call her or she calls me, and maybe I suggest doing something later today (I'm still HOPING to get to the point where I can do that...), or whatever... and it's obvious that she has plans to be with OM. Maybe she even comes out and says it, in some convoluted way.

What do I say about OM? How do I act? Do I stay completely away from any talk of OM, even when it would seem awkward to do that? By not saying anything, or even GRUNTING some sort of disapproval, what is that telling my WW?

I hope someone understands my question...

well... I know MELODY would've answered me... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I miss you Mel!

LOL, Well i'm not Mel and I miss her wisdom as well. I'm not one of the vets here but from what SAA tells you, never degrade or talk bad to your ws about the om it only enforces there reason for being with them and not you.

I don't know your whole story.

1) Are you and ww still living together

2) Are you in Plan A

3) have you exposed the A


The only advice I can give you is to not give up and learn from what you have experienced so far. for example.

My ww had to talk to om everyday on the phone just to hear his voice was enough for her, out of a 7 month A she had 2 sexual acts with him and one got interupted because of my pounding and kicking on his front door..LOL...Boy did that scare him

I would keep plan A going and just be her friend for now and she will eventually see you for the great loving husband you can be and the om will show his true colors.

good luck my friend, my prayers are with you.