Thank you for the kind words...
I do know in my heart that I will be ok and will find someone worth my time in the future.
I do grieve over the loss of my marriage. I never planned on my WH being totally out of my life. It's so strange how things happen. I do love the person that I married but I despise the person he is today. I would never be with somoene like him. I do think he is very confused and in the beginning I tried to fight and help him. He pushed me further and further away and I finally decided that I deserve better. No one deserves to be treated that way and feel like they are second. I want to be #1 in someone's life. I don't want to feel that I have to look over my shoulder constantly. That's no way to live or love.

We do own our home jointly. We've only been here a year and a half. I love my home but don't think I will be able to keep it on my own. It's going to be very hard to move out of here. We have wonderful neighbors who have become such great friends. I will miss all of them so much. My son is having a hard time with the thought of us having to move. I'm just so angry that I was put in this position.
I do find some happiness in knowing that one day my WH will suffer for all the pain he has caused me and my son. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> He can't go through life making other people miserable and be happy....it just doesn't work that way.

Tree,

In my state, water cannot be shut off that easily; and in fact, if you have evidence that he willfully and deliberately set you up to have utilities shut off and has not provided support for you or your child, he could be setting himself up to lose contact with his child entirely via child protective services. Check with your attorney to see what "criminal" ramifications there might be to play out in this hand. He can let you leave the state or he can go to jail if the penalties for child endangerment are serious enough in your state.

Tree (Lady Diana)
A think my attorney told me that I think is very wise, he said to get in control and stay there. Not necessarily of the situation but of your life. Don't let his e-mails and "plans" affect your life at all. He walked out and in the process lost a voice when it comes to how your life will be conducted.

The worst thing a person can be subjected to is not hatred but being ignored. It sounds as if he is obsessing a great deal about you, your son and himself rather than investing in this new relationship. He can't "sign" anything to protect his credit so that he can take your car and computer. They're your assets too. I suspect he's hoping to control you further by these threats. Don't let him. You're in control.

I suggest you be positive with your son. Make the move an adventure. Make finding a new place to live fun. Get him excited about his new life and let him express that excitement to your stbx. Talk about Christmas next year and the fun you'll have finding a new place for the Christmas tree. It'll drive the man crazy. He'll wonder what you're up to and why all of a sudden this is a good thing.

Don't respond to his e-mails. After you talk with your attorney, let the attorney inform him that all communication can go through him/her. Shut down the control he feels he has over you and cut off that direct contact he has with you. Do a darker Plan B.

Next time he takes your son, ask for an extra 30 minutes, not enough time to make difference but enough to make him wonder. When he returns your son, be dressed to the nines in your best party outfit (borrow one if need be). The man is jerking you around, now is the time to stand firm and not take it any more.

KaylaAndy...I'm checking into what you just talked about. I will talk to my attorney about it. It just amazes me how he thinks he can do this stuff and get away with it.

jph.....It's Princess Di here... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I never let my STBX see me upset or anything. It's very hard sometimes but I am determined to show him that I will not fall apart because he left us. My son will see him for who he is one day on his own.
I am trying to look at moving as a positive thing. It's hard sometimes though. I am angry that I have to do all of this because he chose to be selfish. It's just so unfair. I know that I will be fine eventually but right now It's just really hard.

Hi Tree.

Your H will only hurt himself with his shenanigans. It's pure high school for him to rub his palms together and say,

"I'll not pay the water bill, then when the water gets shut off, Tree will look like a bad mother and the boy will be MINE! Nya ha ha ha ha!"

That's lightweight stuff. Don't take it seriously. Just stay cool and quietly deal with it. Don't let him get a rise out of you.

The calm, steady Tree.

GC

Thanks graycloud!
You are so right...he si trying to get a rise out of me and I have to say.....I am pretty darn proud of myself because I haven't bitten! I normally would jump all over him and fight. I have kept my cool and it has actually helped me to move on.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ill not pay the water bill and tree will look like a bad mother and the boy will be mine! nya ha ha!

GC, hilarious! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> i can actually picture his sorry a$$ doing just that. Good for you Tree! Be stronger than me!