My husband recently posted regarding issues in our marriage. Well tonight I need some help, my H is currently not working and I am working full time trying to provide for us and our son. Our son is still in full time day care per my husband's request. I was unable to sleep Sunday night and kept quiet and didn't wake anyone up. Tonight my husband wanted sex, I was dead tired and said to let me get some sleep and I would wake him up in the middle of the night for a quickie. I wanted to be the one to initiate sex tonight - it was important to me. At first he let me sleep, he went downstairs to the computer and looked up some porn. Then as the night progressed he kept waking me up, making nasty comments, put AC/DC on loud enough to wake our son. He encouraged our son to wake up at 2AM to play, wake Mommy, telling our son that he's sexually frustrated. He's banging the table and generally making some very rude comments about me. Needless to say, my mood for sex with my husband turned into contempt and I very quickly lost the desire.
Last year I heard for approx 6 months that I was fat and ugly and mentally and physically unattractive. It's hard to not hear those comments in my head every single day. I'm working on my self esteem, ensuring that I'm taking the time to wear make up, watch what clothes I wear and making more of an effort in the bedroom.
What do you do with a husband that puts his sexual needs even before the basic needs of his son's sleep? My husband doesn't respect me, he doesn't trust what I say and then he gets upset when I don't talk with him. When I do speak with him and share with him my past history he eventually gets it wrong, uses it against me and posts personal and confidential information on the internet. So now I'm less willing to share any information with him in fear that it's going to end up elsewhere. I'm at my wits end, I do want our marriage to work, but am frustrated out of my mind with the lack of communication, my husband's aggressiveness, and his obvious lack of respect for both myself and our son. Any advice would be helpful.
Sorry if the post is not as concise, but it's now 330AM and none of us in the house are sleeping!
