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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
I have read ALL of the principles here and I think I understand them pretty well. My question is, it has been almost 5 months since D Day, exposure and NC, or at least NC that I know of. I wonder if I would have kicked H out and let their little A run it's course instead of it stopping because of dicovery would I feel any better? It is always in the back of my mind, wondering if he's still seeing her or talking to her.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
Jennie,
I don't think Plan B would have alleviated any fears you may have. Your husband destroyed your trust, which is why you are wondering what or if anything is going on. I think you will for a long time.
If he ended the affair upon your discovery of it, then Plan B would have done you no good. I can't see any advantage to going to Plan B is the affair is ended.
Are you and your H in MC? What is he doing to earn you trust? Are you able to discuss the affair?
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100
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Joined: Sep 2004
Posts: 100 |
We are not in MC as we are unable to afford it at this time, I was laid off recently. He calls me several times a day to let me know where he is etc. as for talking about the A, we have very little, and this concerns me the most. I have written a letter to him and told him that I think we have recovered as much as we can until there is a foundation of honesty to build on from this point and that the whole thing was still a secret between him and OW. He says that we will talk about it but so far we haven't and I don't try to force the issue. I know that if he doesn't open up about it soon, our marriage is unlikely to last.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
You know, I think you should show him this post of yours. You need to get recovery going right away. You have two little kids who do not need to go through a divorce (again).
You could do the MB program together and have your H read the infidelity section posted by Harley.
He needs to know just how close to disaster your marriage is right now.
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