Dear MBfriends:

in one week on Dec 8 we will have our 10th wedding anniversary. I urgently need ideas for a gift for H. I am a little ambivalent about the whole thing. On one hand I am still angry about his A two and a half years ago, about all the pain he brought into my life, about the physical violence when he got frustrated with my questions about the A, about how he "threw away" the exact same wedding vows that we are supposed to be celebrating now.

On the other hand I want to show him my gratitude and appreciation for his efforts since d-day. The two years of IC he's been through, the strict NC he has kept, his efforts in MC in the past three months, all his patience with my angry outbursts and my efforts to sabotage recovery.

What could I get for him? He is one of those men who have everything and need nothing. I already gave him a special watch a few years ago and a sportscar for his 40th birthday. What now? He says he needs a wallet, o.k. I can get that, but I thought the gift should be more in the $ 1000 price range.

Any ideas for a beautiful gift with symbolic meaning?

<small>[ November 30, 2004, 09:29 AM: Message edited by: Iceprincess ]</small>

i just went through this in october. god it was hard....i ended up going with a key chain that had our wedding photo engraved in color on one side and a picture of our sons on the other. he doesnt use it as a key chain...he has it in his wallet. he loved it...good luck

Well a romantic/fun weekend alone without the kids would mean more to me than any "thing".

And a letter from you telling him how proud you are of him, and how wonderful he has been lately. Just a letter cherishing him and the marriage basically.

If you had more time, you could put together a photo album for him with special pictures and captions telling the story of his life, or of your life together.

If he is a music fan you could make some CD's of his favorite songs for listening to in the car.

Well I'm a homemade gift fan myself, so don't really have any ideas of things to buy for you.

Well, this isn't really something symbolic or beautiful (maybe you could get something like that to go along with it). But this is something my H would LOVE to do. And since you are looking to spend a good amount of money. Is your H interesting in racing? My H would love to go to one of those racing camps where they let them drive on the racetrack and do other race car driver stuff. Whatever that is.

Anyway, just a thought. I know if I had that much money to spend, my H would really love that experience. I'm not sure how they work, but maybe it could be a little vacation for y'all too.

And btw, I'm right in the same situation, except we are just now into recovery. Our 12th anniversary is this Sunday, December 5. I'm a bit sad since our 10th and 11th anniversaries were during the A.

We are going to go out to a movie and a special restaurant. We are going to go on a weekend trip without kids at the first of the year. For now, I got him a nice poker set. He really wants a table, but the one get wants costs $500 at Sam's. We can't get that one yet. Maybe later. He is really into this new poker craze.

ng <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ November 30, 2004, 10:36 AM: Message edited by: naivegirl ]</small>

I really like the idea of taking a trip somewhere, just the two of you to create special memories.

However, I am concerned about the following quote:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I am a little ambivalent about the whole thing. On one hand I am still angry about his A two and a half years ago, about all the pain he brought into my life, about the physical violence when he got frustrated with my questions about the A, about how he "threw away" the exact same wedding vows that we are supposed to be celebrating now.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It seems that you are still carrying around a lot of anger and two years later that can't be good. What are you doing about this? If you just let it fester it will slowly kill the love that you have.

Thank you, guys. Some great ideas so far.

Of course I have already checked out trips: maybe to Paris or a lonely tropical island. Maybe just a weekend in a nice hotel in NYC (sort of a vacation at home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ). On our last trip to L.A. in October we just fought all the time...I don't want to repeat that. So I am a bit undecided about the trip.

The car racing idea sounds interesting. I'll try to find out where he could race our sportscar. That would probably be a good gift.

I was looking for something with a symbolic meaning. Nikko, the keychain is great, but I already gave him a Tiffany keychain with a heart last year.

Other ideas?

Thank you, guys. Some great ideas so far.

Of course I have already checked out trips: maybe to Paris or a lonely tropical island. Maybe just a weekend in a nice hotel in NYC (sort of a vacation at home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ). On our last trip to L.A. in October we just fought all the time...I don't want to repeat that. So I am a bit undecided about the trip.

The car racing idea sounds interesting. I'll try to find out where he could race our sportscar. That would probably be a good gift.

I am working on that letter. But it is difficult to put it all in words.

We are in MC. I am trying to get over my anger and most days it's pretty much o.k. I just find it hard to celebrate a wedding anniversary after all that has happened.

I was looking for something with a symbolic meaning. Nikko, the keychain is great, but I already gave him a Tiffany keychain with a heart last year.

Other ideas?

Vegas Bay-beee. It's DisneyWorld for grown ups!!!!!!! (maybe you could renew your vows at a certain little white chapel?)